20 y/o female student here. I developed a crush on my female professor in 2023 september and still can't get over her. I also confessed to her in winter with an explanation that I'm confessing it get it out of my chest and nothing else. She responded saying something like "You're just infatuated with an older person's experience/maturity and it will pass" she also said "And you shouldn't keep it to yourself, if confessing made you feel better - I'm happy for you". She also added that she's heterosexual, has a husband and couldn't date me because of the student-teacher disbalance.

In 2024 january lectures/lessons at her class ended and we didn't see each other until september 2024: I saw her few days ago when she walked in in the library, she saw me, said hello first, I greeted her back. It was nice seeing her so unexpectedly after a long time. But now I feel like my feelings grew strong again. It's not a huge problem for me but it's kinda draining because I feel like I'm living in limerence because I constantly have sexual and romantic fantazies about her. I also get jealous when I think about her and her husband being together, having sex, being intimate, loving and caring for each other (sometimes I don't care about that, but when I'm in a worse mood and it crosses my mind I get very mad and jealous); One thing that calms me down is knowing that it will pass naturally. I had 2 previous crushes that I though I will never get over, my feelings for them lasted for 2,5 years (for both separetaly) but it passed and I feel nothing for them. And I know this crush will pass too. But it's kinda draining.

I did see therapist and mentioned this whole situation, she offered some advice on how to not thing about it but I know that forcing to not have any feelings for other doesn't work so I stopped going.

Now one of the other problems I have: I will come back to her classes in february-june because last year I chose her classes when we had free-choosing classes for each semester. And the thing is I don't know if I choose this because I'm in love with her or because I'm genuinely interested in the topic? I get scared that if I'll lose feelimgs for her the class/lectures I chose will be boring because my crush on her is like a fuel for me to study great and I feel like I'm holding on to my crush I wouldn't lose the fuel to study that class/lecture I chose. Also, you can't switch classes once you chose them and I don't think I would switch even if I had the chance since others aren't that very interesting. I'm also trying to built connections with other people and am going to meet some other older woman so maybe that will help.

I don't even know why I am writing this, I just want to get it out of my chest and see what other people could offer me. What are your thoughts on this?