I (18F) met this guy (32M) at a dating app(i set my age preference at 35 💀), absolutely aware of how crazy it is but i really like him like alot. I'm like 10 tabs deep about this on reddit, Quora, blogs idfk name it.

I've talked to older people before and made friends with them, and i just love their laid back and comforting energy while at the same time they can be fun too. Maturity is attractive what can I say?

It kind of just happened and we just chatted a few times. Talked at calls just a few times (he's busy packing, and all) before he went to my location. he already got a ticket to where i was before we matched (he travels) so obviously we meet up and had our first date. (I know ot sounds bad atp)

I'm pretty chill tbh, I'm not nervous at all or anticipated anything like my base emotion is pretty much neutral and I'm just there to purely enjoy the food, his presence and crazy stories that comes with his experience, and the activity together. You could say I'm an open person, I act immature at times (obviously for my age it's normal right?) which I'm aware of and ofcourse despite it I know myself, boundaries, and all.

First date, it's pretty much established that we'll be hanging out casually, ( I know the age gap is too much 😭💀 like if there's a chance that I'll seriously be in a relationship with him it'll be very low) same with boundaries (no drinking, no wild shit, just fun date seriously) the moment we met we're like the same age interms of the way we act and communicate (don't go after him yet 💀 i act like I'm his mom sometimes too and like he's younger than me and it's hilarious 😭. By same age as in sometimes my age and sometimes his age) hanged out at the bowling point and we played pool also, it was fun! he's respectful and polite, doesn't really come across as creepy. We banter and flirt for the shits and giggles but nothing serious. Our humour matches too 💀 but yeah nothing too freaky also a little background story about some stupid shit he was up to (I have this little test where i tell the old people i mingle with at first that I don't know what's too much in the creepiness scale and i sort of find out what kind of person they are based on their reactions)

Second date, cafe and park nothing suspicious. Discussing about his experience in my country and our opinions about it. We ofcourse agreed alot on things, values and some aspects we look for a future partner and we were very honest about it. Then i have moments where i just stare at him and LITERALLY GET ATTRACTED TO HIS EYES (💀) i just admire his face and shit. I know there are conventionally physically attractive mfs out there and i honestly rarely get attracted to them. Him, even the first time we met irl i pretty much already find it attractive but nothing romantic—not before the second date. BUT, i can also tell he's also quite nervous too which he later on admitted. He's emotionally sensitive guy, which I also like (i love emotional men) and acts like a child even sometimes i feel younger than me 😭 he's hesitant but he kissed my hands, later on we kissed (🏃‍♀️💨) not too deep like a peck. That's all there is and it's funny because we're walking and talking the entire time and we end up getting lost and just going around circles until we end up in the parking lot kissing. (We didn't do anything far than that but hugging and kissing, yes)

From this onwards, we're talking about marriage abit more seriously 💀 and reality started to hit both of us like a truck because yeah. Reading about it online not alot of people agree with it, my mom also was worried but she trusted my decision. I have told my close friends and they also support me.

He's had alot of dating experiences before and he said he doesn't usually go for girls my age for OBVIOUS REASON and we were both freaking out atp he said that he thought I was so fun to talk to he didn't really expected it to go this well and same with me honestly and he also does find me attractive🙉 He's got his own business, bars (and obviously he could've gone for better options but there he was sitting on a table with me and I don't even look that good 💀 pretty average I'd say, he's the same but I'd say he got charm based on his stories he doesn't look bad as well i wasn't really surprised that he dated and had relationships with lotsa women—he's 32 hello??) but yeah, I don't feel all insecure or the need to please him or any negative feelings on this just the age being a serious issue.

We've decided to keep in touch as he leaves the country and maybe after 6 months we'll find out. He respects my mom's conditions which they discussed. And when all of this goes well he'll definitely be meeting them. (Yes. Date to marry, im that girl we both are 💀)

Thoughts? Could ask for more details at the comments (Nothing too personal like names, addresses, locations, obviously)