I think I know damn well how bad it is, I just need someone to really point it out and persuade me not to… so I’ve sort of developed my feelings for my former English teacher? He taught me last year and I’m graduating this year, all feelings aside I do think we’d make great friends considering how much we had in common (again I do think this is just my ‘feelings’ in disguise but yea). We got off well when he was teaching me, it’s complicated but I didn’t like him at all before (also probably me knowing I’d develop feelings if I get close) but eventually he grew on me (I gave in), he seemed to like me the entire time tho (according to many friends).

Like platonic wise, it was there, we’d always talk about stuff outside of class, we like the same authors, same musics all that cliche stuff, we just clicked. He’d sometimes compliment my work (like to an extent), or my looks, offer extra help, gifts, treats me really special compared to other kids but I don’t think I’m that significant to him, that’s what really fed my feelings I think.

That’s about it. Since he doesn’t teach me anymore we don’t spend as much time but we do talk on a basis which is always nice. I plan to get his insights on my sop for college (both necessary and an excuse to spend more time) and then gift him something before graduation, then call it quits.

I don’t know if he’d want to stay in contact or what, I know I’d love to as friends but we both know how that’s gonna end up. He tells me stuff like “I enjoy talking with you — I’d love to talk more later” probably reading into it too much but hey, me too. I don’t want to get him fired so other than my sop I’d do my best to steer clear, not too much that he thinks I hate him.. but say if I were to ask for his number by graduation, maybe ask him out for coffee, how bad of an idea could that be? We keep it between us, god idk it’s probably just the hormones someone shut this down for me please.