I dont know what to do.

Im married 15 years this year. 19 togehter. Kids 17, 13 and 2 Its been dead bedroom with the ocasional sex when she has been the correct ammount of drunk to lower her self to do it with me. I do love her but not how it should be. I want to leave but kids, house, finances make it so hard.

I met someone else. 2 years ago. She was 20 i 36. We chatted every day. All through the day for a few months. Eventually i built up the courage to meet her thinking in person she would change her mind. She didnt. We met several times and eventual became intimate a few times. She knew my situation and i always told her if she meets a guy to go for it as i do not want to hold her back. Eventually she did. Althpugh i was heart broken i was happy becsuse she was happy.

We would still talk randomly over the 2 years and sering her happy posts made me smile. She had 3 boyfriends in that time and is single again. We have been talking and its like old times. We met last week and did nothing but hug and it was the best.

She tells me she has missed me and knows deep down she wants me. I know i am in love with her.

What do i do? Do i risk it all? How do i leave? Do i carry on for the sake of my kidds? Do i stay with the woman who tells me she hasnt loved me for years but the following week does? How do i cope with public perception if i chose the girl i have fallen for? When will it be to late for me to leave? Am i wasting whats left of my years with my wife? After 19 years how do i make such a big decision?

If i left i would loose the house i built. Atleast untill the kidds are grown.

I dont know what to do.