This obviously not true for everyone. I’ve seen many posts where this is probably not at play, but I do think it’s something to consider. As a 30 year old male, I’ve always been attracted to older women. This began when I was maybe 13. I’ve had many age gap relationships, some of which were around 30 years. However, as I’ve gotten, I’ve also come to find myself attracted to younger women as well (although I still love older women).

Throughout my life I’ve tried to understand this attraction. After years of introspection, one thing I’ve realized is that age gap relationships often entail a sense of boundary violation. It’s exciting to engage in something that may be taboo or socially “wrong,” albeit incredibly fulfilling. I recall this feeling the first time I slept with an older woman. I was 18 and she was 43. As it was happening, and as we made eye contact with one another, I felt this mutual connection in which we both transcended the traditional roles of teenager and mature, and opened ourselves up to the vulnerability of treating each other as equals. I think subconsciously, we all view others at different life stages in certain ways. While it’s okay to be acquaintances, friends, or progressional cordial, there’s an inherent blockade involved in love and lust. Breaking that boundary and seeing this woman well beyond my life stage as a partner, as someone I want to please, opens up an entirely new realm of gratification.

I’ve recently had relationships with a 19 and 20 year old woman, and while it’s interesting being on the opposite side of things, the inherent excitement of boundary pushing is nonetheless present.

I by no means assume that this is how everyone feels. I just felt like sharing my own AGR journey, as I’m sure we all have our own.