I will try to be briefly but im a F 35,having a huge crush on M 55. We know each other (former colegues and stuff). We have known each other for like 10 years or so, i have been babysitter for his boys when they were younger. We had Some time apart then we reconnected and I developed feelings for this guy out of the blue. We have both been busy but have allways have time to talk. He have allways got out of his way to help me out and still insist to help me when i need him. The last times we have talked like over one hour,times just flies,we laugh together and keep changing topics and jump back in,we talk about sports,pets,deep conversations,he opens up,and so on. If we are in his garden we can talk and be ourselves,but he havent invited me in since the pandemic. If we are talking in my driveway and i invites him in for a coffe he gets wierd and,speaks with a low voice and leave after few minutes. I dont know but mabye it feels safer for him if we have the teenage boys near by? Because then he would laugh and be the goofball i know. Or we can stand close and pretend to admire flowers and let our hands touch briefly while we almost hold hands for some seconds. We have allot eyecontact during our conversations,I have catched him looking at me when i have looked down or somewhere else,then he lock eyes and give me a heartwarming smile.

Our hugs are getting wierder from a 20 second hug where he did not want to let me go,to one fully bodywrapped where he rubbed my back and to the last one where it was cheek to cheek when i think i felt the corner of our mouth touched,then we both smiled ,laughed and said good bye.

I have to add we live in a small town and he is kinda a local celebrity with a higher social status than me,but he doesent seems to care about that and neither do i.he is single,and have been for 10 years. The youngest and the oldest kids seems to like me,but im unsure about the guy in the middle. He have agreed to help me out with a little project,so im looking forward to see him more

And i also know there is a huge chance that he only likes me as a friend.

Any thaugts? And or advice?