ik i am sexually attracted to both women and men but when they are older i think it’s more so i’m attracted to them because of my childhood never getting the emotional needs met that a kid needs. now that i never got it before i think it’s developed into me seeking it out now in older women and men by wanting to feel cherished, loved, comforted, taken cared of, babied and held in a way that i never did as a child from neither parents.

i also think this also plays into other aspects of my life that doesn’t really need to be addressed here because it’s not the sub for it.

i’ve found myself liking ppl older then me for a while, several years now and its something i’ve recently been sitting w myself about. i’ve felt alot of shame about it more so because i’m starting to bloom sexually. i worried how taboo or odd id look to others and a self moral thing along the lines that i was attracted to the wrong thing and that i was wrong, perverted, impure, and corrupt etc . plus now knowing that it is an attraction that’s gotten stronger and not just fleating crushes or platonic attachments like when i was younger, how i imagined more like hoped my attraction to ppl older then me was going to stay made my feelings about myself worse. but i think really finding the why has helped me accept this at the very least understand myself better.

i just wanted a place to share my thoughts and feelings about something i’ve been battling/coming to terms w. there’s no one i can really share these thoughts w irl so i just wanted to dump them somewhere plus i wouldn’t want to bother anyone this dump in a dm anyways haha thank you if you read this far it’s a bunch of word vomit so i’m sorry if it’s not clear ♡

i have never used this sub before i’m not sure which flair to use so i hope the advice one is ok. even tho this is a bunch of random thoughts i’ve had i am open for advice any kind! as this is something new to me that i am accepting.

tldr i found out out why i lean more to ppl w age gaps around my parents ages, its not because i think it’s hot or anything etc but bc of what i lacked in my upbringing even tho i am sexually attracted to men and women too.