I'm co-leading a relationships retreat in Tulum this month and wanting to devote a day to power imbalances. My training (and academia in general) is somewhat lacking in this area, with some of the only studies being done in the last 10 years to measure drivers of power imbalances in romantic relationships. Age differences are often frowned-upon due to the inherent power imbalance, but I'd like to get thoughts from this group on what you think drives power imbalances in your age gap relationships. Here's my ranking so-far:

#1: Wealth imbalance. To me, this is the #1 factor in power dynamics in romantic relationships where I've seen one partner feeling "trapped" due to financial dependency. This is often involved in age-gap relationships.

#2 General Assertiveness: Some people are raised to be accommodating and submissive, while others learn from a young age to ask for what they want (or demand it). When there's an imbalance here, it can be the greatest driver of power imbalance in relationships. Often correlated with gender and age, but truly just a practiced state of mind.

#3: Knowledge, Confidence, & Intelligence: Often correlated with age, but not always, I group knowledge, confidence, and intelligence together because I've see these used to establish and maintain power imbalances in many relationships.

#4: How much time & emotional support you want/need from your partner: Most of the power imbalance I've seen in relationships comes from people wanting different things from each other (wanting more time, more attention) etc. When this is out of balance, it results in a power imbalance. How much sex you want from your partner is included here.

#5 Gender: Men are generally privileged. Women less so. Trans people less so... but in my work as a coach, gender is not as strong a driver of inequity as any of the 4 factors above.

People frown upon age gap relationships because of the power imbalance, but in isolation, I'd suggest youth actually is privileged over older age... its just that any power you gain from youth is greatly overshadowed by any of the above, which are often correlated with age.

What other factors/drivers of power dynamics am I missing? Can you think of any that (like the top 4) can lead to major power imbalances? Do you agree/disagree with the ranking above?

If you're interested in seeing where the power imbalances stack up in your relationship(s), there's a "Relationship Power Inventory" quiz you can take with your partner(s). It was developed in 2015 and can be found online anywhere.