I know I'll probably get flak from this post but whatever.

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I rehomed an African grey from a lady who is dying of cancer and doesn't have the time for him anymore. He's about 10 years old, I'm not new to having parrots but new to having an African Grey (and haven't owned a bird in about ten years).

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I'm frustrated with the progress I'm making with him. It's been about 3 months and he won't step onto my hand, he seems pretty skittish at most things. He has all his feathers but whenever we start training he will fly off his cage/perch onto the ground and start plucking (I can tell it's a frustrated/scared pluck).

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Is this normal? I wasn't expecting him to be my best friend on the first day but what pace should I be going at? I know he's older and hasn't been held most of his life but maybe I'm not equipped to deal with him, maybe I'm too impatient. I'm really upset by this because I want the best for him and it kills my heart every time he plucks or sulks because he didn't wanna get on my hand.

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I see some other posts here with their birds on their shoulders or in a harness and I'm scared I'll never have that. Will my bird just live in the space I'm in, like strangers tolerating each other?