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Came here to say one thing but I can’t guys. We look and we find support for a bit but it’s a lot to hang onto a connection found this way. Mostly one of us bounces before we meet. I’m staying for kids. Ten more years. I don’t think it’s the best idea but I won’t do what it would take to leave. I won’t hurt anyone that much for myself. My wife doesn’t love me. Hasn’t for almost 7 years. Hasn’t so much as hugged or held hands in that time. Took me til last year to believe it. But she’s dead set on 10 more. We’ve gotten better as far as being on same page about most other things but it’s a good thing I’ve got a good therapist.
I know I’m still posting because in some way I hope someone will reach out. I’m sure there’s some perfect scenario that in the back of my mind would be good, some perfect new best friend to hug and play with boobs and all that mature stuff.
But I’m being fucking selfish. Even saying that and leaving this post up is a cop out. I don’t know how else to go through this but try and fail at finding some kind of connection though. For all time or whatever. It’s wrong that I’m even hoping. And not wrong against my family but wrong to ask anyone else out there. Right?
But I’m leaving it up because I can’t make myself delete it this time.
Ladies, form a line at the door or whatever. I’m gonna go have an aneurysm.
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