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I guess I'm getting closer to finding an AP? Closer but still no dice...There have been conversations happening, but I feel more and more like perhaps it's not in the cards anymore. Am I doomed to wither away in a loveless, sexless, affection-less, emotionally barren marriage? Should I start practicing celibacy and/or just become a monk already?
Every time I wonder whether it's time to just move on from finding an AP, someone comes along and reels me back in, only for something unexpected to happen with them (that's life) to put me back at square one, wondering if I should bother anymore or should even try to share myself with someone.
Yet, true to form, if this is a sign that my time with this lifestyle is done then I'm not heeding it lol. I could be a glutton for punishment, I could be a masochist, but I still want it all--I want a local female with whom there's mutual attraction, emotional and intellectual connection, and conversation. I want to be there for someone else in my same disillusioned shoes (can shoes themselves be disillusioned?) and for us to grab a firm hold of our lives before yet more time ticks on and runs out.
And I'm too stubborn to give up on this dream and the euphoria that can come with it, so I'll keep searching until I find you. I'm 42, married (for now) with 2 kids, and wanting to desire and to be desired again. Reach out to me...
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- 2 days ago
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- reddit.com/r/AffairsTX/c...