Here's the dilemma. You've found the (nearly) perfect partner in the past, with all the boxes checked--mutual physical attraction, intellectual compatibility, and actually located with 30 miles of each other. So it's possible. But how do we wade through all of the static, here on Reddit or elsewhere, and find that sort of match again?

I'm picky and hoping that my potential partner is as well. So how to go about finding her? My best strategy is to prattle on about my ideal match, weeding out as many readers as possible. If you make it to the end of the post and my words resonate, drop me a PM.

Must haves:

• Nearby. I'm not looking for something online. Texts are great, but I'd rather sit at a coffee shop with you and have a conversation in person.
• Time. We have spouses, schedules, and commitments. So seeing each other requires a little planning. But I need a partner who has enough freedom in her life and schedule that we can see each other on a regular basis.
• Intellectual curiosity. I'd rather chat about the last book you've read than about some plot twist in the latest HBO series. I can binge-watch with the best of them, but I have many other interests and I'm eager to hear about yours.
• Words. Actions are the real source of truth, but communication through language is important to me. I love reading random thoughts via text, or longer musings shared over e-mail.
• Liberal. We don't need to talk politics, but if you're not disgusted and worn out by all of this shit, then WTF?

Nice to haves:

• Sexual curiosity. I'd like to think of myself as GGG, with maybe a little bit of emphasis on the third 'G'. I'm truly game for anything. This has taken me down some very interesting paths in the past. When two partners fully trust each other and are open to exploring more about what turns them on, many things are possible.
• Dreamer. The older we get, the harder it becomes to avoid being pessimistic and jaded--about the world, but also our place in it. I struggle with that, but I think I still end up being hopeful. Dreams point us in the right direction, whether or not we follow them. I'd like to hear yours.
• Energy. I want to add energy to your life, not take it away. That's what I'm looking for in a partner as well.
• Humor. Sure, a sense of humor gets us through a lot. But it also just feels so damn good to be with a partner who makes us laugh, and vice versa.
• Love dogs. Ok, maybe more an indicator than a requirement. But being a good dog mom (or a good mom) tells me that you're a good person. That always melts my heart.
• Books. Maybe this should be higher on the list. Or maybe it's just that reading books is something we do when we're not together, so it's a little less visible. In any case, I'm a serious bibliophile (maybe bibliomane). If you're in the same boat, we'll understand each other.

I'm hoping that you're picky. Here are some random things about me. If any of these elicit a groan, or even a "meh", then please bail out before you get to the end.

• Devoted Dad. My kids mean a ton to me and they come first in my life. I'll probably talk about them a ton. They're a bit older and only with me part of the time, which means that I do have time to spend with an AP.
• Time and money. I have a flexible enough schedule that I can arrange to get away. And I don't need to report every dollar spent to my spouse. So something like getting a hotel room for an afternoon (for example) is quite doable.
• Dad bod. This item is here, just in case you're looking for a 50-something guy who is ripped. I'm not Brad Pitt. But I'm also not Louie Anderson.
• I have hair. Ok, it's "distinguished" hair, but I have plenty of it. I need a haircut, in fact.
• Not a whiner. I won't whine and complain about my spouse, job, or anything else. But I also won't hide feelings and pretend everything is great. We all need to strike a balance, sharing feelings with a trusted partner, but not just perpetually complaining.
• Books. Did I mention books?
• Outdoors. Although my day job has me sitting at an office (or at home), I do enjoy getting outdoors. I enjoy hiking and generally being out in nature. My primary hobby is warm weather only, but involves being outdoors quite a bit.
• Introvert. I'd much rather spend time with one single person than socialize in a group setting. I'm quite chatty with people who I care about or am interested in, so I seem extroverted in some contexts. But I put great value on spending time with just one other person. I'm also quite comfortable being alone.
• Geek v. Sporty. I'm not into sports and happily ignorant about most of the things that guys talk about when in man-groups. I've self identified as a geek, though people have told me that I'm far too socially comfortable and personable to call myself a geek. I'll go with geek then, rather than nerd.

That's more than enough. Now you have me at a disadvantage. So send me a PM and tell me all about yourself.