Don't get me wrong; sex is great. But what's greater would be to find someone to have an amazing connection with beyond the physical. But it's really so hard to find the right "mix." Know what I mean?

I've already come to terms with the fact that I will be stuck in a passion-less, affection-less marriage for at least 12 more years (when the kids leave the nest). I'm not looking to change my situation right now because I want to be here for my kids when they need me most. But I also don't want to wait until they're grown before I start getting back "out there" to find someone who will reciprocate my affections and love me as a lover would (not only "like" me as a friend, colleague, or roommate would - which is what I have now).

I've tried other subs. Tried looking for people locally with whom I might be able to enjoy some company. But I've since realized that what I need is something more than physical. Tried looking for people in r4r, but how do you explain that you're married without sounding like you're some lousy, no-good cheat? And even if I found someone there who doesn't judge or who understands my situation, how many would be willing to wait 12 years to be with someone?

So I've concluded that what I need to start looking for is someone who is in a similar situation to mine: stuck in a relationship for the next decade or so but not wanting to be limited by that.

Looking for a connection. Looking for attraction. Dare I say looking for love ... eventually? (though I'm open to making friends here, too)

About me: I'm Asian, 38, married with kids, in the Washington, DC-area (more specifically NoVA, Northern Virginia). I'm really chatty (a natural story teller). I love to sing. I'm a former athlete (track and football), so I'm in fairly good shape even though I don't work out as much as I used to or as I'd like to. I don't do drugs. I don't drink. Heck, I don't even swear (in person, anyway, but oddly enough will on occasion via chat). :) Not that I'm against any of that. Just not what I do. I'm also into sci-fi, fantasy, crime solving (shows, books, etc.), "chick flicks," and romantic comedies (to name a FEW). YouTube and Netflix are my friends. (Hulu used to be until they started charging :) haha. Sorry, I also laugh at my own jokes sometimes.)

About you: Well, whether we admit it or not, we all have physical preferences, and I have ONE. It's hard to say this without sounding superficial, but I'm looking for someone around whom I can comfortably put my arms (I really love hugging/embracing). Not saying you have to be skinny, fit, or petite, but I'm not looking for a BBW. A "little extra" is fine. And if you're short, that might give a little more wiggle room for "extra." Just ask yourself if I'd be able to easily wrap my arms around your midsection.

That's the only real "requirement" that I have (aside from being attractive - which is subjective, of course). Any (legal) age is fine. Any ethnicity is fine. Any height is fine (assuming you're OK with a guy who is 5'8"). Most anything else is fine. But, for me, size (horizontal) does matter.

Does that mean personality doesn't matter? Am I just superficial and not caring of what's on the inside? No. What's on the inside matters, of course. But I think if you clicked on this post and have read this far, we are probably compatible enough to engage in a conversation to get to know one another better. I don't need to say what your likes and dislikes should be, or say you should have this quality or this characteristic. Compatibility is not an exact science.

So, since you've gotten this far, send me a message already! And don't worry about writing a catchy, Pulitzer prize-winning first message. I'm not going to ignore your one-liner. I'm a guy. Our inboxes don't get flooded with messages like women. :) And I will reply.

ALSO ... if you made it this far, enjoyed what I wrote, but have decided NOT to message me, can you at least upvote this post? I've been told that the other men on subs like this will intentionally downvote M4F posts so they'll get buried. So if you're not who I'm looking for (or vice-versa), would you help this hopeless romantic better his chances of finding them by upvoting this? Thanks!

https://imgur.com/a/jZNrrwk