I have open hostility for the system that decided it was a good idea to shame anyone for their sexuality or sense of sexual self. What fucking sense does it make to set the standard for women that not wanting sex makes you a prude but wanting sex at all makes you a slut? GUYS. DO YOU WANT THEM TO FUCK US OR NOT? BECAUSE THAT MESSAGE IS HOW YOU REMAIN UNFUCKED.

It sucks for men, too! Do you have any idea how long it took me to realize that women actually like sex?! These weirdo old men had me duped into thinking romance was some sort of game where I had to convince a woman I was "worth it". It turns out orgasms are great across the board! Everyone likes them! And just being a decent fucking human is way better at finding intimacy than having whatever the fuck rizz is.

And speaking of orgasms; What the fuck is the idea with these expectations?! Apparently I’m supposed to have a christmas-cock that makes her eyes light up with joy as she whispers, “For me?”. And it’s supposed to be embarrassing if I use a vibrator on a woman? Or go down on a woman?! Dude… Tell me your partner never comes without saying it, because that’s what I hear.

Okay, that’s enough screaming into the void for one evening. I’m an intelligent guy with a steady career who travels and blah blah blah. Do you honestly care? I’m a standard bald, white dude with a techy job, so you’re not going to be wildly impressed with any of this resume shit. 

Let me tell you the important things:

I respect boundaries up and down 100%. Emphatic consent is required for all steps. I don’t talk about this part of my life to anyone at all. I actively listen when someone talks to me. I am safe both in that I have recent STI screenings and I have no history of violence (and I’m so sorry that we live in a world where safety checks on dates are a thing for women). I want to feel the fire of genuine lust again before I die.

And I guess that I’m 6’ because that has to be mentioned. I don't make the rules.

I’m not going to make a section in this ad about “what I’m looking for” because fuck that. Just be who you are without any expectation and come as you are. What's the worst that could happen?

Fun fact: There is data to support the idea that women make better physicians than men.