Well, you’re reading this, which means you’ve found this subreddit and you’re probably lacking something in your life as well. It’s human nature to always crave what we are missing. My life isn’t bad, don’t get me wrong. I have a loving wife, great kids, and a solid enough career where I don’t have to live on ramen noodles and bologna, and my tale probably isn’t much different than the other men here.

Don’t worry, I spare you from all the boring details of how an average guy got to this point, because you probably already have an idea as my story isn’t different from many others. I’m more than happy to share if you want, just ask me.

So now for the personal details, I’m HWP, 6’ tall, very tattooed, got a beard and a mustache you could ride off into the sunset. I’m witty, try not to take life too seriously, and have an unhealthy attention with wearing t-shirts that have potentially offensive words on them such as “You should take a joke as easy as you take a dick”. That one goes over really well when shopping at Costco. I love to laugh and make others laugh, and live off crude humor and sexual innuendos. You know, dad humor with a twist, whether it’s twisting jokes or twisting nipples depends on the day.

Now, as far as what I’m looking for; A woman.

Kept it simple right? 🤣

But in all seriousness, a woman of any acceptably legal age range, but please be able to at least legally drink. Can’t relate to someone who doesn’t have at least a few bad bar tales(which we absolutely need to commiserate over the hilarity of those stories by the way). I hope to find that one crazy soul that fits my jigsaw puzzle for that missing piece(which should be fairly easy I’m hoping since it’s a 1000 piece puzzle, 783 pieces are missing, and it’s numbered on how to put the pieces together that remain).

If my randomness has intrigued you at all then feel free to reach out. I understand physical attraction is important to some, so I’m willing to exchange normal(what the fuck is normal anyways) photos early on if you’d like. Hopefully I hear from you!

Bonus section!!! My interests and hobbies vary as much as a toddlers attention span in a Lego factory, ranging from building and fixing things, woodworking, fishing, ghost hunting, yelling at bad drivers on the road(if you haven’t yelled at least once douche canoe bad driver that thinks TikTok is more important than eyes on the road then we can’t be friends), raising and breeding reptiles, and sharing a collection of scars and injuries that paints a pretty detailed story of a life well lived(think of a cross between Alice and wonderland, and fight club. Every one is confused or feeling like they’re on an acid trip and also wondering where that bruise came from).

Seriously, good on you, you kept reading after my ramble of a post that has about as much intrigue as a ADHD person speed cleaning their house in 20 minutes because they forgot company was coming over which they we aware of for 13 business days. As another little quirk, tell me how you like your bacon cooked(cuz if you don’t like bacon, we definitely can’t be friends since bacon is life).

Ta ta for now!