Well, that and a bunch of other important stuff like special skills (opsec, conversation, bedroom, etc), practice & experience (been to the big leagues before), a competitive spirit (to make things fun), thoughtfulness, and passion.

But the patience and discipline to hold out for what we're looking for increases our chances of finding someone special that makes us feel like we sent one over the Green Monster.

Although I've been fortunate enough to have enjoyed two affairs in the last four years (thank you Reddit), they were both with first-timers (I've learned that practice & experience makes a big difference). It was exciting to explore with them and they were wonderful, fulfilling adventures, but with experience comes wisdom (hopefully?).

This time, I'm trying to maintain the patience of a homerun hitter, waiting for someone that's has a few at-bats herself, perhaps a few wins in her pocket, and has cautionary tales of her own to share. (And is patient enough to read this long post!)

While it might take longer to find a match, I know it'll be worth the wait. We both know if you swing at every pitch you'll eventually get some hits, but not before striking out a lot, and we've established that we're here to hit a dinger.

So what's my perfect pitch? You're between 40-55, married, and have kids. The ideal ballpark to play in is outside of Boston, somewhere north of the Pike, up to southern NH.

I'm a sucker for a pretty face and freckles always catch my eye. You're in shape enough to be a threat to steal second base but fun enough to enjoy a Fenway Frank. You don't have a gym-perfect body but you have the stamina an desire to round third and tie the game or handle our extra curricular activities with ease.

Chemistry and physical attraction are obviously vital, but confidence at the plate is the most important factor when it comes to being sexy.

You're ok with exchanging scouting reports (pics) relatively early on to check on our potential. Like any valuable free agent, you know what you want in life and in the bedroom, and you're not afraid to ask for it.

Drinks: yes, Smoking: no. If you like to cook, we'll have something in common.

If you're a professional / office-type, we won't need the translator during visits to the mound (it would probably help us relate to each other better).

We know that the game is 90% mental, and you're a thinker looking for an intelligent, interesting AP. You like to read, keep up on current events, and you're not afraid to try new things with the hitting coach. You like to dive deep into conversations to really get to know each other, but can appreciate just chatting about the latest odd-ball Netflix series we both watched, a new sexy song you added to our shared playlist, or the Red Sox (I like baseball, but rest assured, not as much as this run-away metaphor might suggest!).

Neither one of us is interested in being traded any time soon - our situation with the home team is good, but we're here for obvious reasons. I like to think that a good AP even wants to help each other's relationships at home by being supportive. You're aware of the possibility / likelihood of developing feelings, but know how to keep them in check.

Sound like you so far? We're halfway there, and hopefully the back of my baseball card sounds like the one you're holding out for too.

I'm 49, 5'9", live & work north and west of Boston. Average build but lead the way on the mountain bike and hiking trails. I have a neatly trimmed, short beard that shows some gray. Hazel eyes, a decent tush, and a handsome face. 2 teens in HS, 1 good-boy pup. In a dead bedroom with mismatched libidios but home life is very good with no complaints other than lack of passion.

Dry sense of humor, creative, conscientious and caring, good conversationalist but not demanding or clingy. My check-in frequency is usually 1-2 times a day (more early on), but I know sometimes we all need a short break for family life. Mostly type-A personality but wouldn't say gregarious.

I want to support your relationship at home despite our potential plans / activities. I'm not into bashing spouses (but if he pulls an asshole move, you've got a shoulder to turn to and someone who will listen). I can laugh at myself and my little quirks, and want to learn yours too.

I'm a curious person that likes to learn. I enjoy cars, cooking, reading, gardening, camping/hiking, art, have broad music tastes, love comedy, drinks, and a bunch of other stuff. Despite the theme here, I'm into other things more than sports, but I do enjoy baseball.

Looking for that utility player that is missing her opportunities to run wild and experience passion again. But to keep the sports metaphor going, do you approach rendezvous with an almost competitive spirit? I want one of us to say, "Remember last time when we did such and such? I have an idea to make it even hotter!" or finding little challenges that keep things interesting for both of us and encourage us to try something new.

Strong opsec should go without saying of course. My car doesn't track me, I escaped the kid-tracker app trap, I have hobbies and work patterns that support weekday and evening meet ups. Weekends are almost always out due to kids' sport schedules but there are rare exceptions here & there. Overnights have been done, but are also rare.

If you're patient enough to read all of that, you're definitely ready for the big leagues. Maybe you're the perfect pitch? If you're holding out for a homerun too, I hope you'll send me your signals.