This may be the last ad you ever read.

Yes, my it is lengthy but it sufficiently articulates who I am, what I’m after, and not. It behooves you to read it if you plan to send a message.

I’m classy, well educated, and sophisticated. Confident but not arrogant. Witty, well travelled, sarcastic, and wildly fun. A polyglot. 

I am known to cause rapid heartbeat, confusion, inexplicable excitability, profuse sweating, fever and chills, dizziness, enlarged pupils, engorged appendages, and blurred vision. These side effects aren’t easily managed. Proceed with circumspect. 

I have a full-on life outside of an affair that always comes first. My time is just as valuable as yours, therefore I am in a position in life to prioritize and make time for the rare intriguing person who piques my interest. I'm looking for someone with this same outlook and capacity.

Adroitly stimulating my brain is a massive turn on. Keeping my attention is a challenge. I find superficiality tedious. Show me depth instead — or many layers, like an onion. Adeptly grabbing  and maintaining my attention, you could discover a whole new world. Shining, shimmering, splendid. A new fantastic point of view. Unbelievable sights. Indescribable sensations. A dazzling place you never knew. A hundred thousand things to explore… 

If you’re not within the Metrowest area of Boston, do not waste your time or mine.

If drinking, drugs, and smoking  are copiously enjoyed and a great part of your life, please give me a miss. I do not enjoy kissing someone who smokes. It doesn’t matter if you’ll stop smoking x hours before meeting me, will change your clothes, won’t smoke around me, etc. It is all irrelevant as the taste and smell of smoke permeates your mouth, skin, and hair. This includes vaping. 

I enjoy intelligent conversations, building connections and getting to know someone — show me your world, and I’ll share mine too; laid-back, easy going people, confidence, friendships, laughing and making others laugh, punctuality, decisiveness, concupiscence, never ending stamina, insatiability, adept conversationalists, those who can let loose and enjoy life full-on, and someone who values pleasure beyond their own.  

I'm 5'4", 135 lbs, curvy, brown eyes and hair.

I’m not for everyone and everyone isn’t for me. I seek quality over quantity.

I like tangible things. I’m not into intangible forms of play from behind my phone screen or with strangers. This means I have zero interest in watching you watching you on video, sexting with strangers, exchanging NSFW photos, or having phone sex, etc. 

Those Who May Catch My Eye Are:

* Sophisticated, drama-free, uncomplicated, punctual, and broad-minded. Educated and globally-minded.

* Dependable and will hold others to the same high dependability expectation. I’m not one for cheap, empty words. Words that don’t match actions, fail to attract. 

* Effective, clear communicators. If you’re lazy in expressing and/or listening, I’ll assume you're equally lazy intimately. 

* Able to captivate me from your first message and sustain that intrigue with intelligent conversation, GSOH, genuine passion, and desire consistently. This doesn’t mean complimenting me on my  appearance. You should know I do have mirrors in spaces I spend time in daily. 

* Passionate kissers. If you can’t kiss with intensity, aching desire and hunger I’ll assume sex will be equally lacklustre. Kissing compatibility  is compulsory; it will either ignite our mutual desire or sends me running away from you expeditiously. 

* Looking for regular, broadening connections, not one-offs. Always NSA as I'm not changing my home life and neither should you be looking to. Connection is essential. 

* You'd know what you want without wavering. You'd not settle for just anyone. You'd prioritize a foundation of friendship, understanding, effective communication, and trust and not simply be seeking someone to thrash your body against. Of course affairs come with the need for body thrashing but to you understand it's a journey not a destination.

If you prioritize me alongside your busy life, but go on to show me I’m not a priority, or you’ve  relegated me to the back burner, I’ll remind you of what you’ve lost and won’t get back by stepping away indefinitely. This is distinctively different than an expectation of your life revolving around me, but should not become a challenge. If it is, we’re simply incompatible. 

Your personality matters. While physically attractive people can sometimes be unappealing, those who may not initially catch my eye can become über attractive with a great personality. This doesn’t mean I’m attracted to everyone—physical attraction is compulsory for me. I’m drawn to athletic men, not thin or obese ones; massive, manly thighs are my weakness. I take care of myself and expect you to do the same.

If your intrigue has been piqued, do send me a message. Show me you've read my ad, and give me a reason to reply to you as well.