This post has been de-listed
It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.
Are you tired of the same old "DTF?" messages cluttering your inbox? Fear not, for I bring you a refreshing alternative. I'm an over 50 professional, armed with a sharp wit and an even sharper jawline. My hobbies include existential philosophy, dad jokes, and more for you find out.
What I'm offering: * Stimulating conversation that doesn't revolve around the weather or your cup size * A shoulder to cry on (waterproof, stain-resistant) * Ability to quote entire episodes of The Office (U.S. version, naturally) * Extensive knowledge of wine pairings (red goes well with guilt, white with secrets)
What I'm seeking: *A partner in crime (misdemeanors only, please) *Someone who appreciates the art of the double entendre *A 40 woman who can keep up with my puns (I've been told they're punbearable) *Emotional availability (because who doesn't love a good cry after a steamy encounter?)
Why choose me? *I promise to never send unsolicited pictures of my "little gentleman" *I can maintain eye contact for at least 7 seconds before awkwardly looking away *I've been told my voice sounds like "butter melting on warm toast" (thanks, Mom)
If you've made it this far without rolling your eyes or calling the authorities, we might just be a match made in adultery heaven. Send me a message if you're interested in embarking on this morally ambiguous journey together.
Remember, in the words of Oscar Wilde, "I can resist everything except temptation." So why resist? Let's be each other's favorite mistake.
Post Details
- Posted
- 1 week ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/Affairs/com...