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Not so good at small talk. Alternatively let’s talk about all the trauma that’s brought us both here.
Me: Married, educated, 5’7, plus size/curvy/fat/bbw/whatever term I need to use to get across my point. I have a job that provides me with ample time to talk to you. I prefer mountains to beaches, dogs to cats and coffee over everything.
You: Educated, attractive, married. Not a republican. You like plus size girls but aren’t weird about it. You won’t spend all day complaining about your wife and actually have time to talk throughout the day. Hopefully you live within 20 miles of KC (by “hopefully” I mean this is a dealbreaker). I tend to get along best with white collar men.
I’m not in a rush to meet but my ideal situation involves regular meet ups once I figure out if you’re a murderer or not. A slow burn is fun but the end goal is to finally see each other once you’ve inevitably fallen in love with me via text after like two weeks.
First messages can be hard let me help you out. 1. You’re stuck on an island indefinitely - what three items are you bringing with you? 2. SSN and the name of your first pet? 3. What was the last thing you splurged on?
** men with an excess of comments in NSFW communities need not apply.
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