Well not quite. I am the dog. Name’s Charlie. I’m a corgi. I’m almost 21 in dog years.

Anyway, I’m writing this for my dad. Because he’s awesome and sneaks me milkbones, even when mom says I am looking tubby. Dad says I’m not fat, I’m pleasantly plump. I’m one of his two hairy children. Lucky for me, he doesn’t make us live with any of the tiny humans. I see them next door and they are always coming in my yard.

Squirrel! I see you! Get outta my pine straw!

Sorry about that. My guard dog duties called.

So more about dad. He comes home sweaty from the gym a lot. Which is awesome because salt licks are the best. He’s got a green thumb and I try to help him water the plants when I can. He really appreciates that.

We walk our neighborhood a lot so that I can make the rounds and greet my constituents - I am the unofficial mayor of this place. He seems popular with the neighborhood moms - they all laugh at his jokes. Kinda annoying when they laugh at him instead of petting me. I feel bad because my butt is cuter than his, but I catch the moms checking his out too. The things you see from down here!

He’s got a short beard - not as cool as my little chin beard and whiskers, but it works for him I guess. He’s pretty strong too - he scoops me up like a little loaf just when I am about to get medieval on some of those rowdy small humans. But he likes good food too. He cooks all the time and I help him clean up.

What else? He’d really love someone nearby or that travels here often. He’s got a good alibi - he comes home smelling like all kinds of different places. So you should probably have a good story too and be able to meet in person pretty often. It might work if you happen to live in one of those big cities he visits often too.

Ok well it’s time for me to take a nap (its 10am after all). You should message him here and be willing to speak on Telegram or Discord and share photos relatively soon. Be well hooman!