This post might come across as blunt, but I hope you won’t read it as cold. I’m actually a very warm, caring person who’s landed in the same situation so many of us find ourselves in. I just think it’s just best to be forthcoming about who I am, where I am, and the kind of woman I’m looking for.

I’m 40, I’ve been married for over 10 years, and my marriage train arrived at the Dead Bedroom station about two years ago. My wife and I get along well and are good life partners. We’re great friends, we parent well together, and we run an excellent home. We’re compatible in just about every way except for our libidos. My libido is high, while hers has ground to a halt.

I’m looking for an ongoing, long-term friend with benefits. I’m not looking for someone with whom to fall in love, leave our spouses, and run wildly into the sunset together. That’s not to say I won’t have feelings for the right person. I’m not some horn-dog looking for mindless sex. I’d like to find someone who’s in a similar situation as me (mostly happy, but missing this one thing) who wants a special friend to help fill in the gaps.

So what kind of woman am I looking for?

• She’s married, but isn’t looking to change her situation. I’m not going to tear you away from your husband. I don’t want to leave my wife, so I understand the importance of discretion and the balance needed to maintain this kind of relationship.
• She’s near me. Someone in or near the Springfield, Branson, Joplin, or Kansas City, MO area would be ideal.
• She’s between 30 and 40. Age is really just a number. Maturity - emotional and intellectual maturity - is really what matters to me. But with that, I’ve found that I tend to connect more easily with people who are my age or just a little younger.
• She’s got a great sense of humor. She loves to laugh at the little things, is probably at least a little sarcastic, and tries to see humor wherever she can find it. She likes dad jokes and never gets tired of hearing *”that’s what she said
• She’s smart and loves to learn. She loves to learn about new things and really appreciates being heard when she talks about topics she’s knowledgeable about.
• Physical Attraction*: I’ve found a lot of different types of women attractive in my life. I know you’re probably thinking I’m just saying that, but I’m not. I don’t care so much about the section of the store where she buys her jeans, what color her hair is, if she is a particular ethnicity, or if she has a specific body type. I tend to be more physically attracted to curvy women.

So that’s you. What about me? I’m so glad you asked!

• I’m a kind-hearted guy. I care about others and try to put them ahead of me. The problem with that is I sometimes find myself in last place.
• I’m not a creep. I know that’s exactly what a creep would say, so I hope you’ll give me a chance to prove it. I think it’s sad we live in a world where someone has to say that. I want to get to know someone in hopes of building something that can last a long time.
• I’m a nerd and proud of it! My personal anthem is probably “White and Nerdy” by Weird Al. I love all things science fiction - books, movies, TV series. I’m an avid gamer and reader.
• I’m mature. I have a career and a family, so discretion and carefulness are important to me. I have the time and energy to give to a relationship, and I’ll actively do my part to keep us both safe and secure.

As far as looks go, I’m Caucasian, 5’11” tall, and have light brown hair and blue eyes. I’ve been described as cute, and I’ve never seen any children run from me in fear shouting “Ogre! Ogre!” I’d probably be best described as “husky” or “having a little meat on my bones”.

I think that’s everything, or at least a good start. If you’re looking for what I’m looking for, send me a chat request. Let’s see if we can make magic happen.