I tried to be nice it's not working.

It’s not working.

So I’m switching tactics. I’m going to be the Bitch now. I want what I want. Nay, I demand it. I won’t settle for anything less than this. If you don’t meet these qualifications and instructions, YOUR MESSAGE WILL BE IGNORED. No ifs, ands, buts, or second chances. Feel free to “shoot your shot” as all the men around here like to say, but know it will fall on deaf ears if it and you don’t meet the following criteria, so LISTEN UP!

1. I want a hot 33 plus guy. Married neglected. Sorry, I do. I want to look at your picture and get turned on and be able to think of you doing all kinds of naughty and sexy things to me. This doesn’t mean movie star good looks. But it does mean you have a raw sexiness to you, you take care of your body, with stamina and some muscles and strength. Handsome.

2. No sex talk for the first two days at LEAST. This means we get to know each other, our interests, our lives.

3. YOU MUST ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO HAVE AN AFFAIR. This means there NEEDS to be a decent amount of neglect on the part of your spouse. She’s not hovering over you constantly, looking at your phone, USING your phone. She doesn’t always need to know exactly where you are at any given moment. You must have some kind of separate finances or credit card that will allow you to purchase or reserve things like a hotel room or gifts without her knowledge. You need to be able to be away for hours or a day to meet up without her calling you constantly.

4. Speaking of chatting, our texting will adhere to the following requirements: I want at LEAST a good morning and good night text, 30 minutes at once or altogether of daytime texting between the hours of 9 am and 3 pm 4 days a week unless work prohibits, in which case that is to be discussed and understood between us, at least an hour of dedicated chatting between the hours of 11pm and 1 am each night unless there is a pre-planned commitment, for which I must be given at least 12 hours’ notice.

5. I want a gentleman whose actions speak louder than words but whose words speak loudly too. Treat me with kindness, respect, gentleness (unless I don’t want you to be gentle), and consideration.

6. I want you to tell me I’m beautiful! Shower me with compliments and gift, But they better sound sincere!

7. I want a promise that condoms WILL be used for first 2 months, with ZERO complaining or whining about such.

8. I want at LEAST 4 hours of fucking during each meet up. I am required to cum at LEAST twice. You WILL shave your balls and at LEAST trim your pubes.

9. You WILL contribute to buying sex toys and lingerie that FITS and doesn’t make me FEEL BAD ABOUT MY BODY.

10. I want at LEAST one non-sexual date a month, and it better be fucking FUN.

11. Penis MUST be at least 5.5 inches (real inches not man inches).

Ok, I think that’s everything…for now. I also reserve the right to add or take away from this list with no warning.

In return, I WILL be the pleasing, sweet, sexy, kinky, amazing mistress you’ve always wanted. Is it worth it to you? If you think you can handle this, send me a message telling me about yourself and a SFW Imgur or similar link to a pic.

I look forward to it.