I’m a 39-year-old married man and I’ve spent the last two years looking for someone on Reddit. In that time I’ve made some short-term connections, caught a few ghosts by the tail just before they evaporated, and even had a few great conversations. In short, I still haven’t found the one I’m looking for. The conclusion that I’ve come to recently is that we all get one shot every 24 hours, and I’m going to take each and every one of mine every day until I find my person.

So who is she - this woman I’ve been searching for over the last two years? Well, let me tell you a little bit about her:

• She’s got a great sense of humor. She loves to laugh at the little things, is probably at least a little sarcastic, and tries to see humor wherever she can find it.
• She’s smart and witty. She loves to learn about new things and really appreciates being heard when she talks about topics she’s knowledgeable about.
• She’s mature. Age is really just a number, but maturity - emotional and intellectual maturity - is really what matters to me.
• She’s kind-hearted and giving. She probably feels like all she does is give and give without receiving anything back in return. She’s looking for a man who will appreciate this about her and give back to her.
• She wants to have more than an affair. She’s not looking to leave her marriage and has her reasons to stay, but she wants to be in a relationship where she feels seen and heard again. She wants a boyfriend.
• She’s passionate. She has hobbies and interests and dreams, and she’d love to have someone help support her every day as she works toward who she wants to be in this continued journey of life.
• She wants to meet her boyfriend in person someday. She wants to take the time to get to know a man, but she’s open to meeting in person after we get to know each other. Ideally she’s within about 4 hours of Springfield, MO to help make this happen.

I know I didn’t say anything about looks. Here’s the thing: I’ve found a lot of different types of women attractive in my life, and it’s most often been because of their personality. I know you’re probably thinking I’m just saying that, but I’m not. I care about having a girlfriend with a kind, caring personality; I don’t care so much about the section of the store where she buys her jeans, what color her hair is, or if she has a specific body type.

So that’s you. What about me? I’m so glad you asked!

• I’m a kind-hearted guy. I care about others and try to put them ahead of me. The problem with that is I sometimes find myself in last place. I’d like to meet someone who can make me feel valued while I make her feel valued.
• I’m not a creep. I know that’s exactly what a creep would say, so I hope you’ll give me a chance to prove it. I don’t want to jump right into sexual conversations or exchange nudes, and I think it’s sad we live in a world where someone has to say that. I want to get to know someone in hopes of building something that can last a long time.
• I’m a nerd and proud of it! My personal anthem is probably “White and Nerdy” by Weird Al. I love all things science fiction - books, movies, TV series. I’m an avid reader gamer. I’m a platinum trophy hunter, but usually only for a game I really love.
• I’m neurodivergent. I know this looks different for everyone. For me, I’m high functioning so it means I get a little tired at the end of the day after a lot of social interactions. I also tend to see patterns and connections between things and I can sometimes be a little blunt. I mostly navigate those things well, but I’ll spend hours rethinking it all again sometimes.
• I’m mature. I’ve had the time to think about whether or not I want to have an affair with a girlfriend, and I know that I do. I want to have a long-term relationship and end the search. I’m not going to ghost or flake out. I have a career and a family, so discretion and carefulness are important to me. I have the time and energy to give to a relationship, and I’ll actively do my part to keep us both safe and secure.

As far as looks go, I’m 5’11” tall with brown hair and blue eyes. I’ve been described as cute and cuddly, and I’ve never seen any children run from me in fear shouting “Ogre! Ogre!” I’m fine with exchanging pics whenever you like.

I still believe in romance, even if this an unconventional place and an unorthodox way to find it. I think that it’s possible for two people in marriages that are lacking to find each other. I know that when we find each other we’ll be able to push back the loneliness and give each other so many reasons to smile again. That’s why I’m going to leave this up, and keep reposting it every day until I find you. I hope to meet you soon, because I know you’re out there!