I'm a guy, right. Like I've been one for as long as I can remember. And even I don't like guys. I feel like I'm surrounded by the kind of guys who refuse to consider installing a bidet. Fragile heterosexuals? Is that a thing? It should be. What I mean is, shame makes us brittle.

I mostly empathize with how much shame extramarital sex carries. The fearful truth is most people have desires just like ours, they just lie to themselves about it. I’m in a DADT marriage, and I am free to explore with discretion. This means no co-workers, friends, cops, or college kids.

There’s a lot to lose, and a lot of shame, because of our completely normal desires. I am also a fan of the slow burn. If these scare you, turn back now.

Like you, I’m not interested in negative additions to my life. I’m a mostly emotionally intelligent guy (I’ve been to therapy and I use ‘I’ statements). I’m a big reader with surprisingly good upper-body strength. My love language is flirtatious teasing, though I’m always hoping to meet someone who has interesting views.

Lots of people describe themselves using their politics, and I’ve found I get along best with left-leaning/anarchist women. Or never-Trumpers who have become disillusioned with the idea of the state overall. I promise we won’t talk about politics all the time but this is DC. If you’re not into politics, why are you here?

Physical attraction is important, yet I’ve found the most attractive quality in someone is their ability and willingness to explore a socially illicit relationship. What’s the point of all that cardio and intermittent fasting if you don’t get much time to really enjoy your gainz? Tight OPSEC and autonomy are way hotter than a tight bod and no freedom.

I’m focused on finding someone local (as in less than an hour’s drive) to me. Anyone outside that zone will be thanked for their message, and gently guided onwards in their journey/search.