Hi!

Thanks for reading, I know there's a mountain of hastily conceived prose out there for you to sift through.

I'm great, thanks for asking! Yes, it is so busy during the holidays. But I feel lucky- have lots of family around, shelter, don't worry about food on the table even if I wince at grocery prices. Have kids who are getting old enough to take care of themselves and so there's some moments to pause and catch my breath. Work is going well. Am great partners with my partner, and we have affection and good communication skills. I'm mentally healthy, not looking for a free therapist, and am probably in the best shape I've been in after decades of doing different sports and yoga. Life is great, and I *am* grateful.

And still... somehow something's missing.

Is there something wrong with me if I still dream of that person who naturally inspires me to poetry?

Am I crazy for thinking a middle aged, okay-looking guy could somehow be fully seen by a stranger and be exactly what she has been yearning for?

Is there somewhere out there in this city, newly blanketed in snow, who paradoxically feels their pulse quicken and heart open?

Do you feel like you have something creative inside you that could come alive in dialogue but is, even now, going to waste?

Are you also sometimes so unbearable hormonally pent up and frustrated with shuttering this sexual part of your being- feeling, like I do that this too is a facet of a graeter creative energy being stymied?

We can talk about music or books or recipes whatever, but I'm sure we can both do that elsewhere. Tell me about your secret thoughts and I'll tell you mine? Can we keep our eyes open long enough to have a chance to really witness each other?

The practical side: I'm in actual Toronto, not an adjoining city, and I'd love if you were here too. I'm not in a rush to meet in person, but I really like the idea that it could be possible. I'm mostly attracted to people who have something that keeps them both mentally and physically engaged in the world- you don't have to be a model or a genius, but if you exercise and read a bit, that is more my lane.

Here's to hoping. Wishing all of you seekers well.