Amid life’s chaos, maybe two lost souls can find each other and fill what’s missing in our lives—emotionally and physically.

Buckle up—it’s a long read (intentionally to cover the basics upfront). That way, we can skip the “What are you looking for?” or “How tall are you?” part and save the fun for the conversation. :-)

Me:

• I’m in my late 40s, married, South Asian, living in the SF Bay Area, working in software as a senior executive—yeah, that's a Bay Area cliché—with salt-and-pepper hair, 5’6"
• In a roommate situation with a long-term partner—emotional details for another time.
• Well-traveled, well-read, intelligent, kind, and, dare I say, funny (I’ll let you decide the last three). My interests are eclectic: classic movies, sci-fi, woodworking, cooking, poetry, history—and, of course, technology. I’ll even throw in “love walks on the beach” and “hiking” to check some cliche boxes :-)

You:

• Must have a pulse and be breathing—non-negotiable. Ghosts, while intriguing, aren’t great conversationalists and tend to disappear, which ain’t cool. IYKYK.
• Married or in a long-term relationship—also non-negotiable. The emptiness and longing for what is missing resonates with you.
• Ideally, you are in your mid-late 30s to mid-50s, but I’m open to older if there’s a vibe. Younger? Not so much—I’m looking for someone who matches my life stage.
• Easygoing, emotionally available, and open to talk about everything. Above all, you seek companionship. F is just as important as B in FWB.
• Into flavors beyond vanilla? Nice !! (Yes, it is precisely what you think it does. Be completely uninhibited and non-judgmental. I am, too.)
• It would be nice if you were in the SF Bay Area so we could see each other in 3D, but it’s not a deal-breaker. Thanks to working across time zones, I’m afflicted with a chronically online disease—don’t worry, it’s not contagious—and yes, I can chat anytime.

Us:

• We make time for people we want to be with. I enjoy sharing life’s moments, from mundane to meaningful, over text, voice, and video. I am chatty cathy personified.
• I’m unlikely to win beauty contests, and I’m not expecting you to either. Let’s be real, not perfect.
• Open to trading pictures —just not on Reddit. Another platform works better. OPSEC etc
• Marxist or MAGA, chill mode champion or gym nut, 2A absolutist or gun restrictions advocate —bring your opinions, not a manifesto. I can hold my own and love open conversations. We’re human, not boxes to be labeled.

A few more things:

• I’m not looking to change your situation or mine. Life is complicated.
• Let’s keep the transactions for Amazon, shall we? No trying to sell your OnlyFans or pitch me a sugar baby arrangement.
• Have I done “this” before? Yes, It was online. It was glorious. It ended.
• Meaningful connection requires focus and sincerity. If you’re jaded and juggling ten conversations at once, we likely won't click —multitasking’s overrated anyway. I’ll meet you with the same energy and attention you bring.

It would be nice to be the reason we’re constantly checking our phones for new messages and smiling when we see them.

Phew! You made it. Thanks for sticking with it.

Reply with your thoughts: What’s one thing you’ve learned about relationships that you wish you’d known earlier? Or What cliche has a grain of truth?