My god. I fucked up so badly in that last post.

I deleted it because clearly the parameters weren't rigid enough.

LOCALS ONLY. Or travel here a lot. Be 32-52. If you're younger than that you register as a child to me and I'm not into that. Ew. Only available during weekday banking hours.

Actual post: I've tried a few times and crashed/burned because I'm not a sex dispenser and don't dig being treated like one. I'm not gonna bang you expeditiously. If that's what it seems like you're after, I'll bid you adieu and refer you to R4R. I could go there and get stuffed with like 200 goddam dicks. I have a vagina. I could show up to Walmart and catch a D in the parking lot. Sorry guys. That's just how it works. Be awesome. I want to like you. I want you to like me. If we click I am gonna want to ruin you. Spoiler: you'll like it. I'm weird, fun, funny, smart, eccentric. I've been described as magnetic more than once.

I'm into all kinds of guys. I have type. It's not big dudes. Seth Rogen chubby is totally fine. I was super into Andy Dwyer. Beyond that ain't for me. As the title says, I'm chubby. Have you seen two fat people fucking? Shiver.

I. Am not. Fucking you. In. A goddam. Car. Period. Or anywhere shady. Day use is like $60. If this is a problem, a) I don't know how you dated anyone ever and b) I...don't feel sorry for you? Or at least not sorry enough to fuck you in a car. I'm loud and I need comfort and privacy to unleash my Sexy Jekyll alter ego.

This post is bitchy but I swear I live for a good time. This shit is overwhelming though; I have to have some sort of filter in place and bitchiness is it. Stay the course. It'll be fun.

Please put "delicatessen" in your message so I know you didn't stop at "I have a vagina" and decide to shoot your shot.

Good luck madafakas.