Let's just be real.

I'm married. You probably are too! Wouldn't object if you weren't, though.

I have kids. Maybe you do too? But kid-free is also fine.

I'm middle aged. You're probably at least heading that way if not there already?

So, neither one of us is perfect, doing a perfect thing. I've got some battle scars from life, from pregnancies, from making it this far. Some of those show up in the extra pounds I carry, or in stretch marks, or in how I guard my heart.

But maybe you don't care and just think big tits are great!

Maybe you have a thing for 40-something women. Or mom bods!

Or maybe you can actually carry on a conversation and treat me like the human being I am.

You have experience with this kind of thing. Sorry first timers, but I need a man who knows how to affair!

I have a thing for thick dicks, so well hung men to the front of the line! But don't worry, I will treat you like a human being, too! But also a sex object, if you like. ;P

I'm amazing! You're amazing! Let's be amazing together? (But on Telegram, not on Reddit chat, especially for pic exchange. Also lets not chat on Telegram for too long before meeting if you're local. Also open to long distance!)

*Please be over 30 and no toddlers, babies, or preggo wives! PST time zone or within 2 hrs of it preferred! Bonus points if you are a night owl! Not into busy beards, bellies, or baldness (unless you can really rock that chrome dome!)