I'm a 40 year old Asian man, tall, in shape, white collar job, musician on the side, enjoys a great conversation over dinner.

I am single, not attached. This won't my first time with an AP. Or my second. You get the hint. In that past, I had made close friends when finding out later that they were in permanent situations, and they have (to my great surprise) worked out really well, ending amicably and more a result of just life (which I can't say the same for my other more conventional relationships).

More than anything else, if you're reading and about to turn away, then this is probably the deal breaker. I've heard this before: the absence of MAD, not understanding the nature of the affair, a lack of risk on my part. And I get it completely, it's a risk.

But hear me out: I've also have been on the more successful side of this. The secret boyfriend that's there for your own fun. The flexibility of timing. The telling of secrets and really getting to know someone and feel butterflies. The ability to host regularly without anyone asking questions. And if I'm going to be completely honest, I enjoy being the sidepiece. I like the seemingly platonic friendliness outside followed by the complete change once the doors close. I enjoy being the object of physical affection.

It works for my own life situation. I'm not interested in finding "the one"; I'm too tired at this point, too disappointed with the women desperately wanting dates and children and filling out their checklists. And I've also found (again, to my surprise) women in this situation to be more direct, more knowledgeable and clear about what they want, less on playing games.

To put it briefly: I know where the lines are drawn, and I won't cross them.

I'm interested in a confident woman that knows exactly what they want out of this arrangement. Regarding physical attraction, I'm flexible on race, but am very partial on someone that is height-weight proportional (e.g., thin, average, fit, or curvy in the right places).

More than happy to exchange pictures early to see if it would work out, and can host.

Hoping to hear from you.