Let's get this out of the way first so I can be crystal clear: I'm not here looking for sex. Am I saying I dislike sex or that it's something that absolutely won't happen over time with the right person? No, sex is fun as hell. But I don't see penetrative sex as a relationship goal or an end in itself... It is too often the center and that isn't what I want.

"But random internet guy," you're likely asking, "if you aren't posting on r/affairs for hot, extramarital sex, why on earth are you here?" Excellent question, person I made up, allow me to explain...

I'm looking for intimate friendship, which to me has three key components: Attraction, communication and affection. Cuddle buddy isn't quite evocative enough, I'm looking for a makeout bestie.

Attraction: I want to find you attractive and it would tickle me pink if you felt the same way about me. I'm attracted to all sorts of women and non-binary folks. I tend to be drawn to soft and pretty/cute, I'm not afraid of curves and yes that's all very vague. I'm tallish (6') and on the solid size of HWP. I run, I'm strong, but nobody's calling me skinny.

Communication: Let's TEXT. A lot. I love it. Deep conversations about politics, religion and the human condition? Let's get into it. Small talk? Tell me about your day. Food/animal pics? I want to see the floofs and your cool culinary creations. I want to share in what you're into, whatever it is. And, of course, flirting and sharing our best selves and best selfies. I'm a huge nerd in like fifty ways, so you will have the opportunity to hear about all of that (or not!) over time. This is all in the context where we have lives and obligations, I'm not asking you to text me all the time...But I like it. It's definitely something I'm missing and need more of and a big part of what is, by necessity, a mostly distanced relationship.

Affection: But you said no sex! I did. Let's cuddle, caress and make out. Physical touch is marvelous; I don't think any modern folks get enough of it and I certainly don't. Holding hands in a movie, smooching in a car, anything adjacent to the concept of a cuddle puddle sounds incredible. I think we are conditioned to think of physical intimacy as only sexual, but I'm here to challenge that. Sex is fun, but it's also messy and complicated and risky...maybe I don't want to go charging into that but I am a really good kisser. Being localish helps with this aspect, but I'm certainly willing to meet less often with the right person. I'm busy, we're all busy, but this is worth making time for.

Finally, trust and discretion are paramount. I'm not here to blow up my life or yours. We should feel safe together, and trust is earned over time. Our home relationships always take precedent. At the same time, feelings happen and that's okay. They are a natural part of intimacy and to be celebrated, but they don't change our boundaries.

If you've read this far and aren't entirely put off by the concept, you should probably send me a message! I promise I'll tell you more actual stuff about myself besides the kind of relationship I want. I'm looking forward to hearing from you.