Instead of taking the traditional online dating tact of prancing out here and puffing my chest and feathers out and doing one of those crazy bird courting dances you see on Animal Planet, I thought I’d take a more laid back approach and just portray myself here….as I really see myself. It may just cut through the BS. (Bird sh*t)

Face it, most of the time, you get a sales pitch here, and when you finally meet, you find that the glossy sheen doesn’t really match the characteristics described by that particular sales pitch. So I have decided to represent myself here, MINUS the glossy sheen. Thus, after reading this, if you decide to respond, there is nowhere to go but up. No pun intended.

So here we go. Older male looking to escape being relegated to the sexual glue factory. It’s pretty difficult making the realization that I could be getting close to the end of a decades long enjoyment of sex, romance and the associated physical and emotional excitement it represents. But it is what it is.

Yeah, I’m in a LTR. Yeah, I’m in a longtime dead bedroom, pretty much by tacit mutual agreement. Generally what long time couples did decades ago…..the sex and romance died…but they stayed together as friends. It wasn’t a dead bedroom then….it was just….marriage. Right?

And there are plenty of advantages and positives to sticking through that stage, really. End stage marriage, if you will. A lifetime of experiences and memories. Family ties. The comfort of a shared home. And of course, as the physical entanglement waned, the financial entanglement grew. And who really wants to be single again at 60 ? Yeah, I’d imagine I’d have a ball for a little while…..to the detriment of my life expectancy. LOL. Drink, smoke, dance, late nights, loud music, an overall life cacophony that really is fun when you’re……….25….but 60 ???

Yeah, plenty of 60 folks do that these days, …..but I’m not really interested in succumbing to that bad stereotype of the old guy sitting at the bar….the 60 year old sitting on a barstool nursing my 10th drink at 1am at some nondescript bar somewhere, listening to a hideous rendition of “Stairway to Heaven,” watching either old drunks do the same, or the younger folks do what I did when I was their age…..meet, have fun, take each other home, and enjoy a relationship that lasted one night, a week, a year, or a lifetime. Those days are over for me, they were fun, but good riddance!

But I digress. Along with being pretty old for this, I also don’t have much free time, as I’m still very busy with work, which I enjoy….plus it gives me cover to get out of the house to tend to the very lewd and lascivious things I endeavor to experience before all my wax is gone and my wick totally burns out to the nub. (And it’s well on its way there.)

I do realize my SMV (those who peruse these ads likely know what this means, so no explanation required) isn’t really that high, but part of the strategy of being successful on the dating scene – no matter what your age – is making a realistic, and somewhat painful, assessment of your SMV, right? Yes of course. Even if the result of your assessment results in a strategy of just aim…..lowwww…..LOL…JK of course. Or maybe not. :/

So if you’ve made it this far….the prospective women who are hopefully reading this…if you reply, and I reply back, and we chat, and we meet and greet, and we end up in bed, and if we end up in bed again, and again and again…..what you will be getting is as follows:

6’ tall, thin, somewhat over the hill, but used to be very handsome, somewhat geeky and cerebral, but funny, a bit paranoid about doing this (even though somewhat experienced at it), sexually pretty vanilla, friendly, more into the connecting vs dominating you or demonstrating my proficiency at various feats of sexual chest beating….just hoping for some fleeting connecting and laughing about life and the situation we’ve found ourselves in. Good conversationalist about sports, business, music, pets, life in general.

Very healthy, gym rat, good body for my age, most of my hair, clean shaven, green eyes, all my teeth. I will also be totally up front (the pun doesn’t escape me), and reveal my “up front” is pharmacologically enhanced. Even so, if you want an accurate characterization of me in that area, I would point to Toby Keith’s song, “As good as I once was.” Yup.

Not afraid of something long term if we really click. Been there, done that, so I’m not afraid of that. At my age, the revolving door has definitely run out of lubricant and seized up, so have little interest these days in quick hits. A one timer may happen, for various reasons, but it’s not what I’m looking for at this stage of my life, obviously. At the same time….I wish to avoid something emotionally heavy. Someone who’s reasonably happy and stable at home, yet wishes to “outsource” certain fun aspects…would be a perfect fit. What we’d be looking at would be a couple secret trysts a month in a hotel room basically. Just being honest. That’s all I have the time and freedom for. But I have good messaging availability.

So if you could be interested, hit me back. And if my self-professed above listed limitations aren’t enough, I’m able to meet only weekdays, and hopefully you’re in the N,NW or W burbs. Thank you for reading all this!!! The only place to go is…UPPPPPP!!