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Bearded chubby guy, practically a bear. But not like a fursona bear. In a relationship and seeking discretion.
Have you heard the good news? Life doesn't have to be a hellscape of information. Alternate paths, every miniscule detail, doomsaying of the Earth's impending demise, useless cultural wars where the stakes couldn't be lower, bridezillas, people who like to invade private space, twisted tea (and far worse the people who drink it and toss their cans on the side of the road,) people very confident in objectively false worldviews, multilevel marketing scams, toxic waste plumes upriver, and people who know "the best tacos" but really it's texmex garbage. Well it's good news but not the best news, I certainly don't have a panacea for all those things that absolutely exist and will continue to exist. But I have a temporary solution. It's called oxytocin. We are filthy animals who can be separated into animal components and a fabricated social component that makes us want to drink. The animal component holds a magic, chemicals! Manufactured in our own brains, they will temporarily remove all the worries, all the noise and static that reduces the meaning of everything that ever mattered. The only problem is it requires another person. Like a chiropractor, it's voodoo magic that you have to keep getting another ritual performed to benefit. This is where I come in. I am the no. 1 oxytocin generator. You will feel warm. You will feel desired. You will cease higher thought and for a moment reconnect with your skin instead of your cortex. Also we'll like, totally bone
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