I want nothing more than a genuine relationship, but every time I feel like it’s going well it ends.

Hey 16m here. A few years ago, I had my first crush on this girl at school. I asked her to go to lunch with me and she immediately responded “ewwww no you’re so fat”. This absolutely killed my confidence and self esteem for a while. But I knew she was right, so I started improving myself slowly but surely. I lost 50lbs, changed my hair from a side part, cleared up my skin, changed my fashion, and stopped being a weird where’s my hug at type guy. I moved schools this year hoping for a fresh start, I have done nothing but try my ass off to be boyfriend material. And it’s been a complete waste of time. All I think about is how bad I want a real connection, someone who won’t abandon me like everyone else in my life has, I want a number 1 option who talks to me first. I just want to be wanted, I want to be loved, I want someone to love me like I love them. I still get called fat by all my friends, even after they watched me lose weight. I am on the brink of suicide atp, I have been so depressed for so long, and every effort I’ve made to being functional and regular has been worthless. Idk what to do anymore I feel unloveable. A year ago I was in a situationship where we talked for a month, went on 2 dates and said we liked each other. Randomly at 2am she texted me a paragraph saying she wasn’t ready for a relationship, but proceeded to get with a junior (we were freshman) a week later. I have kept my head up for so long. I keep saying the right one will come eventually but she never does. All my friends have gotten into relationships or lost their virginities at least. I am the runt of them. I’ve tried so fucking hard for this.