Ps.I am not asking for moral judgment, but practical advice considering my dilemma. Ie. If I fall in love with a younger man, the relationship is less likely to last (in my recent experience) because of our difference. So what do I do?

I'm in my late 40’s early 50s. (don't want to say exact age for reasons for anonymity) During the pandemic I met a man to go to massage technique and meditation related workshops. He was in his early 30s. I didn't really notice his age. It wasn’t relevant at first. He introduced me to weed chocolate and a range of edibles/smoothies/ legal medicines, tattoos, really good music, to the idea that men today support women in their careers, whereas for me 20 years ago you had to choose between love and success. He showed me how younger men see women as powerful and respect them. They want them to be successful Thy wont even date you if you dont have a successful career. It feels really good and really sexy to be supported by someone you love and want to fuck. We experimented on different sexual techniques together, from kink to spiritual sex, had great orgasms all the time. We had great conversations, went for long walks, hikes, medicine in nature, long drawn out sex and conversation while eye gazing, slow grinding on weed, ecstatic sex on other things. Sometimes just relaxed conversation, pizza and cuddles. Held hands, hugged, supported each other in our projects. Learned together. Wrote to each other a lot and went really deep.

We broke up because he wanted someone in his age group and he moved away. Fair enough. But when I date men my age, they all seem lacking in the qualities he had based on his generation- wide and varied musical tastes, and compilation of awesome playlists, acquaintance with spiritual and sexual practices, and awareness of (legal ) medicine use, higher emotional intelligence and greater respect for women. My generation are narrow minded about all of these things, and often are married....I mean he learned about chi in middle school, and did yoga and poetry to pick up girls. (educators, you did a good job)

Prior to the pandemic never would have thought I would date someone so much younger than me, but that fact is, in all my activities, there is younger crowd, and its who I vibe with. I cant stand the narrow mindedness and lack of health consciousness in people my age group. Im fit and health conscious, and I like legal drugs and sex and good music. I wont change when I’m in my 50s 60 or 70s. 80s or 90s...or even 100s! Ill be like this always. Its not a phase. As for menopause? I'm not there yet (not really sure anymore)Im more in touch with my horniness and desire than ever. I like sex. But fuck, 20 years pased and im not in my 20s anymore. I dont feel the difference, sexually, but the men im attracted to see me as 'older' I dont mind the truth, but not if it turns them off... It kills me, it hurts me.

How can I date with this in mind? Older men don't want me because they think I'm too crazy and I don't want them because they are boring... they dtn know how to source legal medicines and they judge me for asking. Wine is ok from time to time. And I dont want to hear about their stupid ex wives who were also really boring,a nd how they have so much money and property and how badly these couples treat each other. Did they ever learn communication skills?. Young men learn nvc and consent communication, they are like me, struggling a little bit and they have humility instead of compancency. They are seekers instead of zombies. They are interested in embodiment, gender fluidity. and magic.

Sorry my age group- boy, this post will get down voted.

Look, Ill give anyone a chance, but I cant help but be attracted to someone who was like the guy I dated before. My whole body craves him.... I did consider dating his father, who looks similar and is single, but cant imagine that would fly. His father is a little older than me, but closer in age and is single- so it makes more sense. He doesn't live in the city, he lives in some boring old town. (typical of his age group....yada yada)

Its gets crazy doesn't it?

Look he broke up with me over my age, I would have been happy to continue and deepen.

Plus, Im not that beautiful, so I am doomed really. Beauty matters for women no matter your age. Im just average, brilliant, horny and experimental. This combination is unattractive to everyone, So I’m doomed.

Advice please!

What should I do?

ps.. don't downvote me, just tell me your perspective, if you downvote me, I can't post anymore and that makes me sad.