I'm having issues with a friend of mine. He wants to talk multiple times a day and text in between. I’m an introvert and disabled so have relatively few spoons. Even after explaining this, he still wants to talk every other day and text every day- talking once a week would work better for me.

We only really have ttrpgs in common so run out of things to say frequently, then the conversation turns to him describing in detail video games or anime I have no interest in. Being in a conversation with nothing to say is even more draining than a regular conversation. I'm just exhausted and honestly the only fun I have with him is when we’re playing a rpg. I want him in my life, but I want much less of him. I don't know of a nice way to say it so I've been lying about other things going on in my life.

I just wish that I can come up with words that get the point across without being hurtful- that can result in me getting my needs met or at least negotiate for less.

I also feel guilty for wanting to talk less- he has an awful home life and he won’t be in a position to really address that until he turns 18. I want to be supportive as a friend and reasonably sane adult, even with my limited capacity. But I can’t be there just because he’s feeling bored or because he needs someone to talk to him as he writes or works on projects.

How honest should I be? “I love talking but it’s rather draining and not fun when we’re out of topics” doesn’t sound great. Is there a better way to say it that gets the point across? I would like to fix things so I can keep this friendship.

I recognize that it’s not good generally that have to be really upset and resentful before I establish boundaries with someone and by then I tend to be less than gentle about it or worse simply walk away because making and enforcing boundaries is terrifying. I’m working on my people pleasing issues in therapy, that will fix things in the long term.

Thanks