I'm not quite sure where to begin, but I'll try to keep it concrete and not digress much.

Long-story short: I went through a rough breakup/loss of friends a couple years ago, in late 2020. I fell into a very rough depression, certainly my first one and neglected a lot. Moved to a city a few hours ago, and lied to my family about taking classes and how I was doing mentally. A lot of the time it was cover-up words like "I'm fine" and "Yeah, mhm" etc, etc. I stopped worrying about school and classes, no longer turning in assignments or important stuff for financial aid and more. I didn't speak to family much, and lived in my miserable, somewhat roach-infested apartment for 9 months. All that time I lied and brushed off concerns and questions of others. Eventually, after putting them off for long, I decided to get a little serious and work on things to eventually return to school, but it was short-lived. Eventually after sitting around lonely and resentful for months, I moved back to my original city and in with vegan roommates I once lived with at the onset of my depression. Then a month later, I moved in with friends I had just a little conflicted history with. During this time, I still was lying about school, as my family or whoever asked was just under the impression I was doing well with studies and on-track. Unfortunately, nothing could be farther from the truth. Life with friends was fine for a short time. I was sitting around, being a total loser and gaming, etc. Never progressing or getting anywhere. I did look for work believe it or not, and things were looking up for a second. Unfortunately due to some issues, my friends were evicted and I decided to stick with them for a time. Going to a motel, then later a hotel as our stuff was moved to storage. It wasn't on my record, thankfully. I stayed there for a few months, as I couldn't take the misery anymore. And I'm a mental masochist, but couldn't enjoy that life. I sure as hell wasn't going to look for work in that environment either. However, I did finally contact some school-related stuff and started paying back a relatively small loan in monthly increments. It's December 2021, now. I decided to move in with my grandma for the time being. But this lasted a short time as I don't like feeling as if I'm monitored or people need me for everything, or to always know where I go or the people I hang around. I couldn't take the pressure either, with my lies and such. Suspicion was quietly growing. My friends thankfully and finally found a place, and I move back in. My birthday comes around, and a few months into moving and after a convention, I think it's time I go for good. I've made claims of that in the past after some events and tons of introspection, but it's seriously time. I can't live like this, not keeping in touch with family out of fear, lies, and so on. I don't owe my family much as no one asks or really supports my college life, or what it used to be, outside of myself anyway. I need to go, I feel. I can't and don't want to fall into a place of neglect and stagnation again. Rarely do my friends ask "What's really going on?" I don't like living with a handful of people, and I feel as if no one really cares what I do. Not saying thet negatively, but I feel I could sit here and continue being miserable and such and it wouldn't really change anything. I feel like I'm not surrounded by uplifting individuals, amd freeloading despite paying rent and all the issues I have with here. I'm too scared to live like this again, wasting my prime away. What do I have to show for it, you know? I could ramble on about my observations or friends, but that's not appropriate perhaps. The point is they're not bad friends, but not necessarily reliable or who'd I want in the long run. I'm tired of feeling I'm just "here", going on about my days. And to clarify, I don't feel like this is the best environment to work in. Trust me; I just don't. Very little space for my food, sharing bathrooms, a pretty small room, so on. I feel like I'm not needed, despite the discounted rent and friendly conversations I have. I just can't be around this place longer, or people. Of course I knew a good chunk of what I was getting into when I moved, but this didn't turn out as I thought. I had a good start, starting off strong with my pursuit of biology in college then psychology. Then my laziness, inability to break this cycle, environment, and most importantly, my own hands; I screwed myself significantly. My debt is almost 1/3rd paid off, but it's very hard managing life on barely $1,000 a month. I remember using it back then to pay for college stuff. Good times.. such a fresh start. No worries, and I just worked and enjoyed those first couple semesters. I had it so good, I did. It was a wondrous experience and the freedom. But I hurt myself.

Redditors, what should this lost, slightly hopeless 21 year old do?