I (M22) graduated college this year and I feel incomplete and stuck. I live with my parents who fight often and it makes me feel sad and alone. I work from home and it's very isolating sometimes. I never dated and I've never been in a relationship. My older sister is married now and has her own family and I'm jealous of the life she's made for herself. She met her now-husband back when they were in high school and they've been together for over a decade. I've always been single and I've always had to go through everything alone. My best friend is planning to move in with his girlfriend soon and it only makes me feel like I'm even further behind.

I'm always worried that I won't have a happy and fulfilling life. I went to therapy when I was in college because there was a free program there that I took advantage of but I can't anymore. We made some progress but now I feel like I've relapsed a bit. I'm always worried that I'll be stuck with my parents with no place to call my own and that I'll never have a partner. It's a constant worry that I have and I don't know how to make myself feel better. Therapy is difficult for me to get back into because of the cost.

I have pretty bad self-esteem issues that likely stem from when I was bullied as a small child. My parents also used to fight a lot more when I was younger and I also used to get screamed at by my dad often. I've always had trust issues and it can be difficult for me to open up to new people. I'm just scared that my past trauma will hinder me from being able to form meaningful relationships down the road. I've suffered from loneliness for so long that it almost feels like I will never see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I know I threw out a lot but at this point I don't know who else to turn to. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.