So my 16yr old sister is pregnant. Ive struggled hard because not only is she pregnant but she is due on my birthday. I was due 1mth later on her birthday.

I watched my sister get every single thing i wanted in life. She got dental care. She got school trips and 2 loving parents. She got spoilt so badly. While her dad was beating me up. I was watching her misbehave so horridly and didnt even get grounded but Id breathe in the wrong direction and her dad would pit my head through a wall. And now... she also gets a baby And Im here empty. I miscarried this month and had surgery. It was a girl.

It hasnt even been 1 mth since my loss. And my best friend called from another state to tell me he and his mrs are pregnant. They also cancelled their trip to here for Christmas. The trip I had done so much for to cater for their stay. I feel so...lost and I know I should be excited but I just broke down and hung up. Im friken here empty. And everyone is announcing pregnancies lately and I cant even keep 1 alive. My body is failing on me horrendously. And to add to my stress huge chance Ill be putting my big cat spider down this week to.

Im really mentally losing it. Ive deactivated all social media accts because Im sick of all the pregnancy news. Ive turned off all phonecalls because I just dont want to talk to anyone.

This friend above is trying to pressure me into visiting them instead and I just dont want to be around someone pregnant right now. All Ill hear is "baby this" and "baby that" and I just cant do it.

Im really at my lowest. Ive had 1 pet loss this yr. A baby and another pet this week. Im at breaking point and cant do this anymore.

My husbands been 0 support. When he is home he just sits on xbox all day. And when hes in the truck. He never even checks on me. He is autistic

For 5 minutes I just need something to go in my favour and just feels like nothing is. Im really struggling to keep going. Just feels like there is no reason to keep going. My depression has never been this bad and I'm struggling to keep going.

My counsellor has retired and I'm on the wait list for a new one...a 6 month wait list. Im just at a loss on what to do. I don't want to be here anymore