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I can’t receive financial assistance this year for school and I hate myself for it. I feel so lost.
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My country has this program where the government would pay for a percentage of your university tuition based on your guardian/parent’s income (or whoever, idk). Part of the contract is that you keep your GPA above a certain level, basically to show that you’re working to deserve the funding. As for me, I was receiving 75% assistance to pursue my degree in Behavioral Sciences. I applied again this semester like usual and saw that I was rejected because my grades were too low. My mental health was really tanking and I started therapy. During those months I had some issues with withdrawal and I struggled with being present for class, despite it being online. I told my mother the news and she had the most underwhelming reaction, so I knew that it was hopeless. I’d have no funding for this academic year and in order to get for my next one (2022-2023) I’d have to bring my grades up. The issue is, we can’t afford to pay the tuition fees.

My mother is the main breadwinner and I’m the eldest of 4. For months I’ve been thinking of dropping out because I was burdening her. I feel like I’m wasting my time and my family, but if I did drop out I’d be a disappointment. I have no idea what to do or where to go from here. I’m contacting the school on Monday to see what could be done to release some of the pressure on my mom, but I’m a bit doubtful. I know that everything happens for a reason, but how do I accept that? I didn’t even know what I wanted to become in the future but I have a vague idea. What if I have to stop school? Then what? I know that academics aren’t everything, but at the same time, I’m not sure? I have experience with childcare and digital and traditional art and I have some basic conversational Spanish under my belt, but what can I do with that? I’m not asking for assistance or anything, just would like an ear or some advice. I know that this sub has people from all walks of life so maybe some words might come in handy? [F19, in a month or so]

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3 years ago