I'm riddled with internal conflict. Throwaway for obvious reasons. My BF has two children, 5M & 7M. 7M has severe behavioral issues and BD has a problem with his temper. There has never been any physical harm done to the boys, but BD will scream at them and snap at them almost constantly. He has a hatred toward their mother, and it trickles down to the boys. I have heard him snap at the boys "we will leave in a minute, your mother is being a b!*** & I need to make sure she knows it". BD has children every weekend, but I am the primary caregiver as he works weekends

BM makes poor financial decisions and isn't capable of basic adulting on her own, let alone caring for her children. The children will be dumped at her parents house 4/5 nights she does have them. There have been past domestic issues with the grandparents as well-heeled, so this isn't a suitable option. BM is emotionally unstable and will fly off the handle as well, which I've seen on several occasions. She will go through severe bouts of depression and lock herself in her room leaving the boys to care for themselves. We have taken the boys when its not our parenting time to remove them from the situation.

I have increasingly severe anxiety, and BD behavior only triggers it for me. I know I need to remove myself from the situation, as it is causing me to have similar outbursts or to break into tears in front of the boys quite frequently. I am pursuing individual therapy for myself.

But, I'm concerned about what happens if I pull the plug and leave. I'm certain that if I were to involve child services (there is already an open case, but both parties are good at manipulating the system to think there's nothing concerning), the boys would be removed from both of their custody.

The boys love both their parents, and would be heartbroken if they were removed from them, but they are in unhealthy situations no matter which way the cookie crumbles so to speak. I'm at a loss for what to do.