I was blessed enough to receive two internships, and now I’m so torn.

Internship “A” pays $12/hr (good for my area) and it is a year long. It’s a boring government job. I feel disconnected and unchallenged. Sitting at a desk from 8-3 is killing me. I come home depressed and can’t relax, and my boss doesn’t give me wiggle room to experiment or feel like I’m learning.

Internship “B” is a gem, but it’s only until the beginning of August. It pays $18/hr and it is remote, which I ADORE. It is a MUCH larger company (think billions in profit per year) and that offers more name recognition for my resume. Not to mention it’s much more relevant to what I want to do. And I clock in and leave feeling so refreshed like I’m being heard and getting awesome opportunities and getting to learn. I have a much better dialogue with my boss there, and it allows me the flexibility to not drown in my mental illness.

I do need to work for a living. My expenses are about $500/month, and I do have a fall job lined up indefinitely, but that only brings in $8/hr. I have roommates and a partner who help contribute to our cost of living as well. I’m literally sitting in my car on my break right now because I just… can’t do it. I feel so stifled. What should I do?