f19 tldr: i feel like i have no close friends or relationships with people and it sucks

these past couple of months ever since my ex and i broke up, i've felt completely alone.

it's less about having a romantic relationship with someone and more just having "my person". like a best friend or something. i've had best friends were we are at each other's hips 24/7 and i've had bfs who i talk to all day everyday, but none of it seems to last and right now i'm feeling exceptionally lonely.

i miss having someone to call at any hour of the day and be like "let's go on an adventure" and them be like "yeah okay".

i have friends and i love my roommates but none of them have time to do spontaneous stuff with me, even if it's just a walk around the neighborhood. and they all have their own friends and bfs and best friends outside of me or our friend group. and every time i bring around someone new around my friend group takes them in with welcoming arms which makes me happy that they all get along but makes me feel even more alone because now they're apart of the friend group and not just my friend which is stupid and selfish and i know it's wrong to feel like that. but i just miss having "my person", someone who will have my back and is my rock.

like am i asking too much of a single person? is this crazy and obsessive? is looser friendships just a part of growing up? i know being adults it's hard to make time of friends especially right now but i feel like no one has the time or energy for me? idk i might just be a piss baby about all of this and need to get over it lol