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I just made my 8yr old little sister silently cry herself to sleep and now I feel like absolute garbage.
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I have a little sister who is 8 years old, soon to be 9. Weā€™re almost exactly 10 years apart (my bday is 2 weeks before hers). Iā€™m the eldest of 4. Between the two of us we have 2 brothers, sheā€™s the youngest. Her behavior is so outrageous. My parents never had to deal with any of that with us older three. Sure we caused trouble here and there because weā€™re close in age but that was about it.

She causes trouble constantly. She picks fights and bickers with us older ones for literally no reason. Sheā€™d say the meanest and most uncalled for things just like that and get away with it. She refuses to accept help or advice and insists that she is the right one and weā€™re wrong, then when crap happens sheā€™s quick to throw the blame on us and make us out to be the bad guys, especially me since Iā€™m her only sister. When our mother isnā€™t around ( at work or just somewhere else in the house) sheā€™d come looking for us and talk nonstop even though we tell her that sheā€™s talking too much and weā€™re focusing on something. She complains for everything and accuses of of stuff we didnā€™t do or say, and our parents always believe her and wonā€™t hear it when we try to explain ourselves. Theyā€™re so tired of her running to complain for literally nothing and theyā€™ve just gotten to a point where they just dismiss whatever problem she causes after a short quarrel. Sheā€™d do mean things to us and when asked why, sheā€™d say ā€œItā€™s my body, I could do/say whatever I want.ā€ Another thing she does... she shrieks like a freaking pig in a slaughterhouse for the stupidest thing if we donā€™t give her her way or listen to her rudely put demands. Especially at night. Itā€™s like some demon possesses her or something. Her screams echo through the street and it would be for something petty like we wonā€™t let her watch tv because itā€™s her bedtime, or I wonā€™t pick up the stuff she threw on the floor and wants again. Obviously I wouldnā€™t pick it up if she threw it at me and demands it back.

That kinda sums up how she almost always is. Now to my situation. I was sitting calmly twisting my hair and watching some YouTube when she comes into our room for bedtime. This is a time where sheā€™d come and talk talk talk but Iā€™d still listen and respond because sheā€™d eventually fall asleep. She did just that. Asking questions, I responded kindly and explained (I was watching a video about blind people so she was very curious). Then the conversation switches as she tries to bribe and threaten me to use her tablet for just a few minutes. Of course I said no. She started a little tantrum and made ignorant comments, refused to listen when I tried to correct her, she threw my stuff on the floor and didnā€™t want to put them back where they belonged. Then I snapped.

I told her about all the annoying things she did and how terrible she was. I told her about how hard our mother works just for us to be happy and how she ruins that by being a brat every hour sheā€™s awake. I told her that sheā€™s worse than a 3 year old we knew and that he was more mature than her. I told her that for the amount of bragging she does about almost being a teenager makes no sense because sheā€™s so immature with her whining and crying and thumb sucking. I commented on her stuck out teeth and said that only babies sucked their thumb. I pointed out all the wrong things she did. I told her about how our parents lies to her with the things she does or theyā€™d pretend to listen because thatā€™s what parents are supposed to do. I told her about how much sheā€™s stressing them out and that we never go anywhere because of her horrible behavior. After I blew my fuse I threw her pillow at her (gently, she wasnā€™t far from me so it just fell on her) and she surprisingly stayed under it. Usually when I did that sheā€™d shoot up and make some snarky comeback, laugh or just scream even though it never hurt her in any way. But not this time.

She lay still and pulled her teddy bear close and was scarily quiet. After a few moments of silence I made out quiet sobs. She never did that before, she always cries in the most dramatic ways. Throwing herself to the floor, sticking her tongue out to enhance the sound, the full works. She stayed like that for about 20 minutes. I just sat quietly and listened to see if she would come back up with a silly grin to say that she was because she fake cries a lot. But she didnā€™t. Eventually her body stopped its occasional shakes and she was still. She cried herself to sleep. I feel like absolute trash. I just spoke my mind in that moment after she pulled the last straw. Iā€™m looking at her now hugging her pillow and sucking her thumb and I feel so awful. I canā€™t imagine what she mustā€™ve thought before falling asleep. How will my words affect her? Would she change her ways? Iā€™m so scared. I love her so much but sheā€™s just such a piece of WORK omg. I sometimes wish that she would just skip to being a teenager like the rest of us so that we could relate and get along better (thatā€™s if she isnā€™t like that in teen years too). We want the best for her and we try so hard to work on her but sheā€™s just not clicking with anything we try. Was I wrong?

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4 years ago