I know it's a tail you've heard a billion times. I've had few relationships and relatively very little in terms of a sex life, I can't pursue it because then I am desperate and depressed, but if I don't pursue it nothing proactively changes. I just never feel good enough. And yes I know I must love myself. Well idk really what that entails, I know who I am, I enjoy my qualities and think I'm a decent person. Yet even so I still feel alone and weighed down by that lonliness, if I'm such a great person who can love myself, why cant I have that with another person. God I'm rambling sorry.

Update: wow this got alot more response than I ever expected. And I'm grateful. Ultimately I know it's about working on myself and loving myself and letting possible relationships happen naturally. I guess it just feels like all the fighting to improve myself has yielded minor results at best, but I know I can't stop pushing. I'll update again at some point. Thank you for the advice everyone.