Hi! This is my story, is a little bit long and might be a hard to understand. English is not my first language so I'll do my best to get understood.

A year ago I traveled abroad hoping to make my academic situation clear, I had a huge lack of motivation. My parents gave me the opportunity of studying English in Canada, and it was something I enjoyed very much. On that trip I met a girl, whom I eventually fell in love with. She liked me too, that made everything very easy. When we started dating seriously she told me that she was a single mother and she was expecting to give birth here. I was chocked, but despite that I decided to go ahead and offer my help in everything I could. She understood that, I was a young university student and I didn't have much money. I was willing to help in everything else, even with money, but that I wasn't pretty useful in that. The pregnancy process was fantastic and both were very excited for the birth of the baby, but I had eventually to go. I was here to decide my life and I thought I had finally something to study for and do my best. I asked my parents to help me study in Canada but it was not possible at that time, I had to return so. We didn't worry about that because the baby was the most important thing, and although sometimes I felt a little excluded (which I understand), I felt completely Happy. My ex-girlfriend and I agreed that we would continue no matter the distance and that we expected to see each other a year later (my career lasted 5 years). I accepted and I was determined to do my best to return as soon as possible. Everything was going well until February of this year, we began to distance ourselves and I didn't receive any update of the baby's growth. A couple of months later she decided to break up with me and stay as friends. It made me very sad, because inside I felt that I would never see them again, I was destroyed for losing a son who never was mine. At that time the option to return to Canada became possible. I got accepted in a College and my parents agreed with that. One of my great motivations was always to see them both closer but that looked a bit complicated then, I decided to go ahead but always in secret. Months passed and I told her that I would be there and I would like to see the baby and also see her, but then I was rejected, she told me that she had a boyfriend now. I didn't care, I still wanted to see the baby and I was going to be here on the date of the Child's birthday so I had to make my gifts received, at least. Later, 2 months later she accepted and I saw the child and was able to deliver the gifts, but I was told that the baby was going to live now with the grandmother in another country. That devastated me, I just arrived and he is already planning to go very far :(. I asked the mother to see him a couple of times before he left, because I don't really know when we can see each other again. Unfortunately got rejected again with the same words and never saw the baby again. When the baby was here, it was also my birthday, I was expecting to see him In my special day but didn't even get a Happy from them. That made me super sad again. Yesterday the baby left and I could talk a little with the mother and I encouraged her to stay strong as she stays here and to seek for his best future. I'm writing this because I'm feeling too sad, time has helped me a bit but not enough to not cry every single time I see the baby smile. It hurts to know that maybe he will never know about me and that I will miss his growth. Do you have any advice to overcome this?