Everything on the outside seems to be perfect but I can't hold it together inside. I have the pharmacy tech job I've wanted for a while now. But it's only temporary until I get my teaching degree. I want to teach elementary school.

My fiancee and I are getting married in May and we're getting the house that we don't have to pay much if anything for all my great grandparents are asking us to pay is the power bill. There's no rent and they're taking care of the water bill the home insurance any property taxes the garbage bill and all that stuff.

My fiancee and I will be living there along with my second cousin whom my grandfather keeps saying I shouldn't trust because he's wronged my granny and his dad and whatnot and he tells me every time he sees me he just drives it into the ground and I'm sick of it absolutely sick of it...

I guess I guess I'm just afraid. I'm afraid what my grandfather says about him will be true. I'm afraid that my job at the pharmacy will be too much for me with the extended commute and increase in class hours after this semester. I'm afraid I'm not going to be enough for my fiancee I'm afraid we aren't going to be able to make it financially.

I mean I get paid 10.85 an hour and maybe lucky if I get 8 hours a week. My fiancee gets paid 9 an hour and gets 55 hours a week. My commute to the pharmacy will be 40 minutes after I get married and move out of my house whereas it's 10 minutes right now. My commute to school will be relatively the same but with increased traffic...

Honestly I don't know if I'm ready. I want this but idk if I'm ready I don't think I am and I'm afraid.... I don't know why this is hitting me so strongly

Idk what to do how to get over this how not to be overwhelmed by this.