I’m a F(41) and my brother is 38. I don’t know if I should go to my parents for Christmas dinner. I already missed breakfast . So, I’m staying with my parents til January. I live in California. I also haven’t been back to visit in over 3 years. Everything is good with my mom and dad. I talk to my mother daily. Here’s where the problem lies. My brother and his family are there right now. My brother and I don’t talk, we havent in a couple years now. To make room for them to stay there I was asked to stay at my nana’s. I was there when my brother and his daughter got there. She’s going to be 3 tomorrow and this was my first time meeting her. She’s adorable and precious. My brother would look at me and just brushed right past me. I asked him a question and at first he acted like he didn’t hear and then I said his name and asked again. He gave a one word answer and turned back around. He can act very entitled and can be really mean when he wants. I texted my mom that I didn’t feel welcome because of him and to not bring it up with him because it’s not worth it. She said okay and then she was sorry for that, and that it’s her house and I am welcome. I just feel so uncomfortable and anxious with him there. I have bad anxiety and get panic attack occasionally because of them.

A little back story: I’ve had trouble with drinking in the past and one thanksgiving over 3 years ago I did act like an ass to my mom. She kept asking me to join and asking and I did raise my voice and yell at to just leave me alone. I understand why his got upset with me for this, but how long are you going to hang on to that? The whole situation just makes me sad and lonely.