TLDR: How to not sink into a deeper depression while spending a lot of time and the holidays alone?

For context this is entirely my decision. I am in therapy and outside of blatant abuse, my therapist has highlighted how neglected I have been in my family. The ones who have been there have passed. After a recent loss where no one showed up for me, continually having to force include myself, etc… I am just tired.

Most things have been coming to a head lately. I do not have any friends I can turn to, and am hanging by a thread financially with little to no motivation. I haven’t taken the trash out in weeks and am in a bad way.

I am open to any advice, especially with the holiday coming up. I thought I’d do something for others, but I can barely take care of myself. I cut off a ton of hair to donate, but then a kid took apart the ponytail and it can’t be given away anymore. Hopefully I’ll laugh about it later.

I am trying to find a positive spin to this very dark time. I’ve been having to do things I do not want to just to make ends meet, which perpetuates the issues at hand. Any kind words help.