Hi. I’ve never posted in this community but I am going through a lot right now and need some advise. Here is the story:

This last weekend I met up with some friends, one of them being this guy I have known for 7 years. During these 7 years I have always thought he had some feelings for me, but never confirmed that with him. This weekend we all went on a bender, and drank like sailors. During day two, he told me he liked me and wanted to act upon this physically. I agreed and we did act upon these feelings.

After this, we went back to socializing with the others and then they asked him for a ride home. Huge mistake. He drove them home and left his phone at my house. I’m not sure why he did but the next thing I know he hasn’t come back in 2 hours. I’m worried at this point and confused.

The next day I wake up to his phone being blown up by his family. I leave it without answering because I don’t want to interfere with his personal life. Eventually, I see that his mother had stated that she is aware it’s not him on the other line and she wants me to answer. I answer the next call and she tells me he got into a car accident and that he’s arrested for DUI. I’m beyond shook at this point. She comes and gets the phone where I am shaking with anxiety and emotion when speaking to her. I am a gay man and they are conservative. They don’t know.

I then go back into my apartment and look up him on the jail roster. I monitor this roster every 30 mins to see when he’s out and am basically a useless ball of anxiety for 36 hours. I text the friends that got a ride from him and they tell me nothing happened when they were in the car. I’m still finding that hard to believe.

He called me today. He says he injured himself slightly and that he doesn’t remember a thing. I filled him in on what I know and then he told me he’s not mad at me and that we are still friends. He apparently defended me to his mother on the car ride back as well.

Now, I’m just this hopeless ball of feelings. It’s 2 am and I am up thinking about what he told me and how I feel so guilty for letting him go. I’m torn because I know he will never want to be with me romantically and that it was a one night stand but that doesn’t change the fact that we both just went through a whole emotional roller coaster.

I am debating on paying for his legal fees because I want to show him I care. I don’t know if that is too extra or what but I want to hear from this community on if this is love blindness or if I should do that.