What prompted this? I was just browsing instagram, saw she posted a story, and just the sight of her made my heart hurt and feelings start to come to the surface again.

Trying to keep the context short, we dated for four years, lived together for three, and she was the only woman that I seriously considered marrying in life. We've known each other since 2013, so we've been separated for seven years. We've also had relationships since then as well.

My last relationship ended October 2023, and I saw my ex-girlfriend, the one I'm referring to that triggered this whole post, once before I left the state of Colorado. I'm now living in Las Vegas and she is still in Colorado.

To me, it's clear that she has the ability to move on with her life and is enjoying her time with friends. I'm feeling the opposite since I had to leave Colorado because I could no longer afford to live there and didn't have a job or any support up there. I'm now in Las Vegas with the support of my family and have a stable job here that will allow me to get my life back together.

Time is also creeping up on me as our anniversary of getting together is 4/22. I realize that there is almost a zero percent chance of ever getting back together with her, and there is a lot of mixed feelings churning up inside of me, and I've been sitting on an email that I wanted to send to her for the past month explaining my feelings towards her and how I wish I would have made more of an effort to stay with her and be more involved in the activities she wanted to do in life, but it is incredibly difficult to let go.

My question for this subreddit and something I also want to post about it is should I even bother sending her this email explaining my feelings? Or is it just going to cause a potential divide between the two of us? I'm also writing the post after just seeing a photo of her with her friends, and I may still be raw from seeing it, but what am I suppose to do here? This is the first woman in my life that I ever gave serious consideration to marrying and spending my life with, but she didn't want that.

Part of me says to accept that, ignore her social media, and just move on with my life. The other part of me is still clinging on to the life that I had in Colorado and not accept the life I now have in Las Vegas.

To you redditors, I ask, what advice would you give to me, in this situation? I'm also aware that there is quite a bit of history that could help elaborate on this, but I just had to type this out, otherwise I would have been thinking about this all night, and having the racing thoughts over and over again.

Thanks in advance.